Thursday, April 23, 2009

Oh, It 's Already Been Broughten!

I I scheduled an interview for Friday. An interview with a most unsuitable candidate. (Not this unsuitable, because I'm not a monster!) Then I took Friday off. Jackie has to do the interview.

And to up the douche factor? I yelled BOO-YA after I told her.

Lainey - 1 (maybe 1.5)
Jackie - 1

On a related note - jamiepants was attending a fair at a community college and may have the opportunity to snag her very own Go Army FREEDOM Mug. I am tickled pink at the prospect of multiple FREEDOM Mugs circulating throughout the blogonets. Tickled pink!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

FREEDOM TASTES LIKE AMERICA!! And a little like gin.

First of all - I freakin' love all of you nutty nuts!

Second - I stole the title of this entry from Anna von Beaverplatz. Thank you, AvB for being awesome and kind of a drunk.

Third - it is ON, bitches!

Jackie and I are fighting over the FREEDOM MUG now, so we decided we should have some type of competition and the winner would get the cup. Our boss suggested we write an essay on "What Freedom Means To Me" because she is LAME and a nerd and apparently thinks we're 9 and she's our teacher. After Jackie and I both crushed her spirit with our withering looks, we decided that whoever is the biggest douche (without being a truly rotten person) wins the coveted cup.

Jackie made the first move. On her way out, while I was stuck on a conference call, she stopped in my office & sang the "B is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" song, thereby infecting me with a most heinous earworm. Evil!

Jackie - 1
Lainey - 0

Help me, evil geniuses - I need ideas for pummeling her. I WANT THAT CUP!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Army Had Half-Day Today

Tidbits from the Job Fair:

Our booth was next to the Army's. There were two guys manning their booth. One was smiley and kind of quiet, the other? Eww. Picture the most obnoxious guy you can think of at the gym, drinking his "Rockstar Monster Energy Drink" or whatever the hell it is, flexing in front of the mirror and yelling "BOO-YAHHH" after every set (or rep. I don't know what it's called. It's not like I hang out in gyms).

So, Jackie and I are sitting at our booth, waiting for the applicants to be let in and Douchey McArmy starts chatting us up. Within 11 seconds I was finished even pretending to listen. Jackie is more patient than I am and definitely better at hiding her annoyance. About 45 minutes in, Douchey walks over and (loudly) says, "Jesus Christ, where'd they find these idiots?" Nice, dude. Then he says to Jackie, "There's a bunch of what we like to call, 'UCI's' here", to which Jackie replied, "UCI's?" and he sneers, "Unqualified Inquiries", obviously pleased with himself. Jackie gave him a perplexed look and said, "Um, why is that called a UCI"? He pulls himself up to his full douchetude and says, "UCI - UN QUALIFIED INQUIRY". Jackie says, "yeah, but, where's the 'c' coming from"? He looks at her like she's the most retarded person he's talked to all day and says, "UN QUALI...oh, um, haa...I I don't know, now that you mention it." DURRRR. Ass.

Later, while there was a lull, he crouched down next to Jackie and presented her with a Go Army coffee mug. Evidently, Jackie didn't show the appropriate amount of gratitude because he then lectured her on the VALUE of a mug from the UNITED STATES ARMY and "when you drink your coffee from that cup, YOU'RE DRINKING FREEDOM, TOO!" Jackie doesn't respond well to raised voices and tends to take it personally. He continued to natter on and eventually wound up the one-sided conversation with, "I'm not even sure why they selected me to do this. It's not like I'm the most personable guy" to which Jackie replies, "At least you know your weaknesses!"

He stopped coming by after that. Haa, I love her!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Crabbypants McGee

So, I might be taking a break from Pajiba for a bit. It's just not that fun for me anymore. Ever since the April Fool's prank, I'm just not loving it. I'm still a bit bitter and kind of hurt, I guess. I feel like the little community that was created was destroyed. Not just destroyed by the staff, but also by the nameless "me too-ers" who were brave enough to chime in about feeling excluded, but not brave enough to ever post so they could be included. Logic like that confounds me. The timing of it was so crappy, too. We had all just come together to say goodbye to 'Manda and everyone was feeling all Kumbaya and shit and then, *splat*. Anything for a joke, right?

The regular old time crew, socalled, Sarina, Julie, PissBoy, jM, jamiepants and others I'm not remembering right now, appear to have stepped back into the shadows - oh, Shadows of Dakaron, that's who I forgot! - and it's a few new people and a few of us regulars and we're trying so hard to not let anything go off topic or offend anyone lurking that it's not really organic or entertaining to me anymore. Maybe I'm just cranky in general and need a nap.

Regardless, I miss the goofy. I miss the zombies. I miss SKITZ! And while it did irritate me on occasion, (and yes, I participated on occasion as well) I miss the sexual banter. The cheesy flirtations and the downright dirty flirty. I miss the silliness. I miss my friends.

This probably didn't warrant an announcement, but I'm really rather bummed about it, so I figured I'd share. Maybe this is all a bunch of word vomit and I'll change my mind tomorrow. Who knows? I may still read a bit when I'm supposed to be working, because seriously, how much work can they expect me to actually do? But, I don't think I'll be hanging out there as much. If anything super fun pops up, let me know, 'k? I'm still on the Facespace and visiting all of your blogs and I still love you all to pieces, but for now anyway, I'm gonna' find something else to do with my screwing around on the internet time.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

And Yet Somehow the World Keeps on Spinning

I attended a funeral on the Internet today. For a woman I never met. For a woman who touched my life and the lives of hundreds (thousands?) of other people who never met her. She wasn’t a celebrity. She wasn’t famous. She was just a funny, smart, sassmouthed woman who was trying her best to raise her son, love her husband, be a good person and beat a deadly disease. She was an inspiration. I’m sorry that she’s gone and I’m sorry that her son will grow up without her there. I’m grateful that I got to “know” her for a short time.

I tried explaining this to my boss and to one of my friends. Neither got it. It should be said that neither judged me, but they didn’t understand. I probably wouldn’t have either if I didn’t “know” these wonderful, wonderful people. You, wonderful, wonderful people.

I’ve never been to a funeral/memorial service on the Internet before. It was cathartic. It was different and new, yet very familiar and intimate and sad all the same. The only difference was that I could cry openly and not have to put on my brave face. I felt like I was surrounded by friends and people who loved her and wanted to celebrate her life.

I didn’t know Amanda very well and won’t cheapen her memory by trying to pretend that we were friends. We weren’t. We were Facebook friends, for whatever that’s worth and I read her blog, but we didn’t exchange correspondence. However, her life and her passing affected me deeply. I’ve been grieving for her and her family all week. Knowing what lies ahead for her little boy. Knowing what it’s like to grow up without a mother and empathizing with how hard it must have been for her knowing that she had to leave him. She made a huge mark on this world. I hope her husband and son and parents are able to get some comfort from that someday. I hope her son will always know just how cool his mama was.

See ya' later, ‘Manda. You’re so cool. You’re so cool. You’re so cool.