Things That Are Bothering Me TODAY
- Having to clean ALL of the things when I feel like I JUST cleaned ALL of the things when I MOVED ALL of the things. There should be a free pass for 90 days after that.
- Dropping my toast on my new couch - butter-side down.
- Anyone who says I shouldn't be eating toast on my new couch.
- Emails from people telling me they miss me, but those same people never being particularly engaged in talking to me when I'm around.
- Blogger REFUSING to go to the next line when I hit "enter" and making me MANUALLY drop to the next line.
- Lying down too quickly and smooshing my boobs.
- Cat hair.
- Guys who send me emails from the personals thing that just say, "Hey - how you doing?" I'm fine. REALLY, that's what you came up with as an opening? Go sit down. Oh and part two of this? You don't have to be a good speller anymore, that's why Al Gore invented Spellchecker. Use it for fuck's sake.
- The cat who REFUSES to sit on the window perch that I bought and installed for her and instead lays on the bathroom floor. Jerk.
- Amazing sex dreams in the morning that won't get out of your head for the rest of the day.
- Humidity making my hair look like Roseanne Rosannadanna.
- Having to look up how to spell Roseanne Rosannadanna.
- People who are too young to know who Roseanne Rosannadanna is.
- Hot guys who are too young for me.
- Hot guys who are too married for me.
- Hot weather that is too hot for me.
- LeBron James.
4 comments:
You know, you really shouldn't be eating toast on your new couch.
Ho, my gosh. The generic personals email, meeee flipping too.
The lack of effort, the laziness. I mean, there has to be a happy medium between a smarmy elevator pitch and the email equivalent of "How YOU doin?"
Thank god, thank god I'm done. The first thing the Scientist and I talked about was brain amyloids and the Human Genome Project. Claws IN. I still don'r remember what he opened with but it wasn't "How are you today." or a comment about my boobs.
Mental note:
DO NOT send messages that ask simply "How you doin?" or discuss their boobs. Must rethink this dating thing.
Does poking still work? What about chasing them around the playground (although would the playground now be a parking lot)?
TK - You know what TOMORROW'S "Things That Are Bothering Me" post is going to say? TK, TK, TK, TK, TEEKAY!
Primordial Dork - HI! Yeah, the generic is bad and the guys in their 60's who keep emailing me. I'm sure they're very nice, but I just really don't want to date someone my dad's age, ya' know? Good for you and The Scientist! Hot damn!
Deist - I'm finding that it's a very thin line between cute/funny and creepy/icky. The guys I respond to seem to be the ones who understand that it's like sending out personalized resumes (because OF COURSE I relate everything to work) and that spamming a one-size-fits-all message doesn't really work. I don't know. Check with me in another week and I might have a totally different story.
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