End of the Year EXTRAVAGANZA!!*

*Not really if you're going by the actual definition of EXTRAVAGANZA.

So, 2010 is ending and I can't complain.  I've had a pretty decent year.  I lost (what I thought was) a good friend, but I've made a lot more.  I've been remarkably healthy (did I just jinx the shit out of myself?) and so has my dad (I'm sure I just jinxed him).  I got my apartment Extreme Makeover-ed, ok, not technically, but I did get nice new carpet, paint, windows, and furniture.  Hell, I have HEATED STEPS up to my back porch, so yeah, that's awesome and nothing to sneeze at.  I've met some Pajiban/Facebook friends this year.  Maybe had sex with one or more of them.  That was fun!  And I tried a whole bunch of stuff I've never tried before (that's not related to the last sentence about sex).  Turns out that macaroni and cheese is pretty damn good.  WHO KNEW?  Oh, right.  Everyone.  But, just for the record, I still haven't tried that fluorescent orange shit in the blue box and I don't intend to.  I also tried a few fancy beers and it turns out that I kind of like them a little and would maybe want to try more.  This coming from the girl who didn't like Bud Light because it "tastes too beerish". 

What else?  I got a new cat, because why not?  He's chatty as hell and oppressively affectionate, but he's nice to have around since the other one only pays attention to me when she wants food.  Willow hates him, but I think she'll warm up.  She's too nosy to just ignore him, so I suspect he'll grow on her after a bit.  Speaking of, Thirteen has become not only tolerable, but actually likable.  I certainly didn't see that coming!   Oh, and Coke Zero is still delicious, despite what CERTAIN people (*coughKolbycough*) say. 

I never imagined that I'd be 40 and single and living in Ohio, it's not like it was my dream as a child, but turns out, it's not so bad.  Just a few years ago, I couldn't imagine making enough money to live comfortably, having a career I'm good at (and mostly like, though I'll deny it), and enjoying my life.  Enjoying my friends.  Enjoying my comfort with myself.  It's actually kind of neat.

So, I hope 2011 is as good or better for me than 2010 was and for my friends who had less delightful years, I hope 2011 kicks the shit out of 2010 for you!

Thanks for coming around year after year!  Especially you folks who keep searching for "what's the opposite of exciting" and winding up here.  You have NO idea how much that amuses me. 

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Conversations with My Father - Pt. 6

Dad:  Here I brought you a chicken. 

Me:  Um, great, thanks.  Why?

Dad:  'Cause you like chicken. 

Me:  True... is it a live chicken?
Dad:  That is literally the dumbest question you've ever asked in your life. 
[-- ed:  if ONLY that were true.] Also, I brought you some trail mix.  I don't like it.  It has too many nuts. 
Me: ...?  It's trail mix, dad, it's mostly nuts.

Dad:  That's why I don't want it.  I mostly liked the M&M's. 

Me:  Then just buy a bag of M&M's.

Dad:  That's unhealthy. 

Me:  Then buy a bag of peanut M&M's and dump some raisins in the bag.
Dad:  I'm TOTALLY going to do that!  Brilliant.

Sometimes Laziness DOES Pay!

First - Everything about Paheeba Day was incredible!  Thank you, you amazing, delightful, lovely ladies of Pajiba!  Thanks for all of your planning and writing and editing and Photoshopping and general awesomeness.  I feel privileged to be among your members.

 

Second - I was a giant, whiny baby on Monday.  GIANT.  So giant, in fact, that I actually *cried* in front of my boss.  My boss and I are also friends, so this isn't as tragic as it could have been, but still - come ON, we mock people who cry at work!  In the past couple of months, 7 of my friends have entered into relationships (some with each other, which is just about the cutest thing EVER) and I'm definitely happy for them.  However, my stupid girl-self also spent some time in the Bitter Barn feeling sorry for myself and lamenting my lack of a love life.  On Monday morning, my boss greeted me and said, "Hey, you look sad; what's up?" and then you know how when someone's nice to you it just makes you cry like a girl?  Yeah, so that happened.  At the end of my little Pity Party, she said, "I know you know this.  I KNOW you know this, but Lainey, no one's just gonna' just show up & knock on your door.  You have to get out there and make yourself available to meet people.  It's not just going to happen by sitting in your jammie pants and watching teevee."

 

Oh realllllllly?

 

So, Angel-ica sends me a text Monday afternoon, "Hey, would you be interested in going out with a 28-year-old guy"?  WhutWhut? 

 

I wrote her back and we played text tag for a few minutes until I got irritated as crap with that (GOD, I hate extended texting, unless it's of the dirty, sessy variety) and called her.  Her husband, M, works with a guy who said to him, "I'd just like to meet a nice, funny, cute, kinda' nerdy girl who's independent, kind of a homebody, has some meat on her bones and a brain in her head." and M exclaimed, "I KNOW THAT GIRL!" I told Angie that I'm not a nerd though and then she laughed and laughed...

 

Angie said that her husband was SO excited that he'd actually already emailed my picture to the boy and they were planning our first meeting/date.  I *jokingly* asked if he would mind if I showed up in my jammiepants and Angie shrieked, "Ohmygod, yes!  Yes, let's do that!"  So now, the 4 of us are going to get together at the boy's house, in our jammies, and watch movies, eat Mexican take-out, and play with the Wii.  I think it sounds like a lot of fun and even if it's not a love connection, it'll be good to have some interaction with a guy who isn't my dad or the janitor at my office.

 

Also, the fact that I get to keep saying to my boss, "Neener, neener, neener - enjoy working hard while I sit on my ass and do nothing!" has not grown old.

Third - Speaking of sitting on my ass and doing nothing - evidently that pays off at work, too!  I got a promotion (well, technically I got a better title & more vacation time) and a raise today.  Cool, right?  I'm sure this will come back to bite me in the ass as it can really only mean that more work is coming and they're trying to butter me up to do it.  Whatevs.  Not like I was doing anything anyway.

Fourth - I started Weight Watchers again a couple of weeks ago. I've lost 5 pounds and while I'm aware that it isn't much, at least the scale is going down instead of up for the first time in a really long time.  I'm freaking STARVING every afternoon around 4:30, so I need to find a way to deal with that, but otherwise, I'm doing pretty well and it's kind of fun to treat my daily points allotment as a scavenger hunt.  Now I just need to get off my lazy ass and throw some exercise into the mix.  Baby steps, baby steps...

Fifth - I tagged this with "waking up with things in your mouth" because it makes me laugh.

Sixth - I have to go to an Employment Law Review all afternoon on Friday, BUT, I get to go with my boss to Red Robin for lunch and I have been saving my extra Weight Watchers points this week so I can have a burger, fries and freckled lemonade.  I'm way more excited about this than I should be.

Seventh - After this Friday, I will not be required to wear pants on Fridays until next January!  Yeah, bitchez!  Between Thanksgiving and New Years, I will have every Friday off work.  Suh-fricken-weet!

Eighth - I don't have an eighth.

Ninth - My pajama date means I get to go shopping for new jammie pants - YAY for new jammie pants that actually serve a purpose for once!

Tenth - What do you squirrellybutts have going on this week?

Baby Got Back...

So, yeah, I understand that diet and exercise are the way to lose weight and get in shape.  However, I also understand that I'm lazier than shit and I'm not so good at monitoring my own diet if my pants size is any indicator.

I've always been curvy, but not fat - I'd say, "thick" or "chunky" (Mmmm, like salsa!), until I quit smoking a few years ago.  I've gained 30 pounds and I just seem to keep adding to it.  I've done Weight Watchers and been REALLY dedicated to it, but didn't lose more than 5 - 10 pounds.  My doctor prescribed diet pills (SPEED - WOOHOO!) and not only did I feel like *ass*, I only lost a few pounds and gained it back as soon as I went off of them.  I used to exercise with the ex, but he was in fantastic shape and I couldn't keep up, so I'd get frustrated and stop.  I have a WiiFit and I'm really trying to make myself use it with regularity, but so far, I can't seem to make myself use it even though I enjoy the hell out of it while I'm playing.

I'm a few months shy of turning 40.  My father's heart attack kind of scared me and made me reexamine my own lard-lined arteries.  I'm single and haven't been on a date date in several years because I have a hard time trying to date when I feel like a whale and I'm a tiny, little petite chick, so that much extra weight makes me look as wide as I am tall.   I need to lose about 30 - 40 pounds and I need to do something that shows some results or I'll give up and quit trying.  (Yes, I realize that I'm an assy baby about this, I'm just trying to be honest with myself and with you and despite wanting to NOT be an assy baby, I know my limitations.)

Yes, I talk about waffles all the time, but seriously, I really don't eat them that often and I'm not even lying when I say I eat relatively healthfully (I LOVE vegetables and fruit and recently I don't seem to really like meat, so I don't eat hamburgers, hot dogs or sausage), I only eat fast food maybe twice a month and I don't drink sugar soda.  My biggest problems seem to be that I fail at packing my lunch for work and then eat whatever is closest; I eat late at night, since I tend to not go to bed until 1:00 AM; and I am a huge fan of butter, cheese, and anything with the word "cake" in it.  I think I could possibly benefit from a restrictive & strict diet that's pre-packaged and is planned for me.

Now that I've rambled on (too bad excessive typing doesn't burn significant calories), here's my question to you:  I'm seriously considering joining Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, or Chefs Diet (which is sort of like The Zone food delivery service, except not the REALLY good shit that rich people and celebrities get).  These are all fairly expensive and I will be a bitter, bitter bunny if the food tastes, looks or smells like barf.  Have any of you tried any of those programs or known anyone who has?  Were they/you successful in the weight loss?  Was the food edible?  Would it work for a picky eater?  Did the weight come back after going off the program? 

Any feedback is GREATLY appreciated!