Dad: Here I brought you a chicken.Me: Um, great, thanks. Why?
Dad: 'Cause you like chicken.Me: True... is it a live chicken?
Dad: That is literally the dumbest question you've ever asked in your life.
[-- ed: if ONLY that were true.] Also, I brought you some trail mix. I don't like it. It has too many nuts.
Me: ...? It's trail mix, dad, it's mostly nuts.
Dad: That's why I don't want it. I mostly liked the M&M's.Me: Then just buy a bag of M&M's.
Dad: That's unhealthy.Me: Then buy a bag of peanut M&M's and dump some raisins in the bag.
Dad: I'm TOTALLY going to do that! Brilliant.