End of the Year EXTRAVAGANZA!!*

*Not really if you're going by the actual definition of EXTRAVAGANZA.

So, 2010 is ending and I can't complain.  I've had a pretty decent year.  I lost (what I thought was) a good friend, but I've made a lot more.  I've been remarkably healthy (did I just jinx the shit out of myself?) and so has my dad (I'm sure I just jinxed him).  I got my apartment Extreme Makeover-ed, ok, not technically, but I did get nice new carpet, paint, windows, and furniture.  Hell, I have HEATED STEPS up to my back porch, so yeah, that's awesome and nothing to sneeze at.  I've met some Pajiban/Facebook friends this year.  Maybe had sex with one or more of them.  That was fun!  And I tried a whole bunch of stuff I've never tried before (that's not related to the last sentence about sex).  Turns out that macaroni and cheese is pretty damn good.  WHO KNEW?  Oh, right.  Everyone.  But, just for the record, I still haven't tried that fluorescent orange shit in the blue box and I don't intend to.  I also tried a few fancy beers and it turns out that I kind of like them a little and would maybe want to try more.  This coming from the girl who didn't like Bud Light because it "tastes too beerish". 

What else?  I got a new cat, because why not?  He's chatty as hell and oppressively affectionate, but he's nice to have around since the other one only pays attention to me when she wants food.  Willow hates him, but I think she'll warm up.  She's too nosy to just ignore him, so I suspect he'll grow on her after a bit.  Speaking of, Thirteen has become not only tolerable, but actually likable.  I certainly didn't see that coming!   Oh, and Coke Zero is still delicious, despite what CERTAIN people (*coughKolbycough*) say. 

I never imagined that I'd be 40 and single and living in Ohio, it's not like it was my dream as a child, but turns out, it's not so bad.  Just a few years ago, I couldn't imagine making enough money to live comfortably, having a career I'm good at (and mostly like, though I'll deny it), and enjoying my life.  Enjoying my friends.  Enjoying my comfort with myself.  It's actually kind of neat.

So, I hope 2011 is as good or better for me than 2010 was and for my friends who had less delightful years, I hope 2011 kicks the shit out of 2010 for you!

Thanks for coming around year after year!  Especially you folks who keep searching for "what's the opposite of exciting" and winding up here.  You have NO idea how much that amuses me. 

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Little Things That Make Me Smile

(From Passive Aggressive Notes - I have no idea why they don't exist on Wednesdays, but it makes me smile!)

• Watching my big piggycat chase after the laser pointer and listening to her purr while she's playing.
• Listening to (and maybe chair dancing to) the songs from "Glee" in my office.
• Blueberry sorbet mixed with lemon gelato or (it is surprisingly tasty) chocolate gelato.
• Turning on my Christmas tree lights.
• The #1 search that brings folks here is, "what's the opposite of exciting?"
  
• Diet Barq's root beer.
  
• Singing the "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala" part of Lily Allen's "Smile".
• Misery Night
• My cinnamon chai candle with the wooden wick that sounds like a crackling fire.
• Fuzzy socks.
• DOODLEBOBBERS!
  
• Laying my jammies on the radiator while I shower & then putting on toasty jammies.
• Toast and jam.
  
• Hilarious texts and emails from Sarina.
• My new Miche purse with its 6 different covers (or as Sarina calls them, "purse pants").
• Pineapple.
• My Jersey Shore nickname is L-Scream.  Awesome.
  
• Snooze alarm dreams.
• You fuckers.

What are 2 of yours?  Or 5... or however many you want...

Happy No Whining Wednesday!!

A Hodgepodge of Blah

Few things going on. Nothing really worthy of its own entry, so I'm just going to cram 'em all into one.

First up - Thirteen is sucking my will to live. Here's a tip, never hire someone based primarily on the tv shows they watch. (Turns out you can love both "The Office" AND be obsessed with "Twilight" & Edward Cullen. Who knew?) Ok, that's not really fair. *Anyone* in this position would annoy me, while they're training, because I'm terribly impatient and not good at hiding it. BUT, when I tell someone repeatedly to take notes about something I'm teaching them and then I tell them repeatedly to use said notes for future reference, I get peeved when they completely ignore this & continue to repeatedly ask me the same question. Also, I took a vacation day today. Our boss and other co-workers are still in the office. I didn't leave her completely on her own. I told Thirteen that she could call me if she had questions. Evidently, she thinks far more literally than I do, because she's called me for every question that has popped into her head today and also to tell me her aunt's dog died last night & she's sad. She called to ask me why her computer screen is turning green when she tries to quit a program. She called to ask me if she should have an applicant take a test. She called to ask me what she should do with an application I put on her desk last night. (I put a note on the application; it said, "Give to Deb W. Ask her to call the applicant to do a phone interview".) Then she called me back to ask me where Deb sits. Dude, that's not exactly what I meant when I said call if you have questions. Whatever, I'll eat that mistake. Live and learn.

Next - I got my hair straightened last night and it went, to put it mildly, horribly wrong. I get my hair straightened every 3 or 4 months and it normally comes out just dandy. For the record and at the risk of sounding terribly conceited, I have great hair. However, it's neither curly nor straight and it's not technically wavy either. It's more bumpy. It holds curl beautifully and it straightens nicely as well. It was damn near perfect in the '80's when big hair was all the rage. In the summer, the humidity makes it frizzy and knotted underneath and it takes entirely too much effort to maintain it for work, so I get it chemically straightened. For whatever reason, the lady I've been going to for 10 years decided to do it differently than she normally does and now...well, now it's just wretched. It looks like Hat Head. Like I've been wearing a knit cap pulled tightly over my crown for approximately 37 days and now I've taken it off. My hair is FAH-LAT smooshed against my skull at the top and then hangs straight and full at the bottom, so to say it looks rather like a pyramid would not be untrue. I paid $112 for this look that I could have achieved by wearing a do rag & using a flat iron.

And finally - something's wrong with my brain. I don't talk about this, to anyone, but I'm going through a really rough patch lately because I can't get this jerk out of my head. I hate myself for loving him and I hate myself for missing him and I hate myself for being a douchey, crybaby girl, but the fact of the matter is, he was my best friend and I miss him. Every day. It doesn't go away. It doesn't hurt less. It's not getting better. My heart aches & I get a lump in my throat every single day because every single day I want to talk to him. He has a starring role in most of my dreams and I hate that I wake up every morning and the first thing I think of is him. I want him to make me laugh and I want to know how he is and I want to be able to have a friendship with him and it makes me SO angry & sad that I can't. Balls.

Since I hate ending things on a total downer, I'm sharing this little tidbit with you. I recently installed a Stat Counter because I was curious as to how people wind up here. Not surprisingly, most of you are from Pajiba or Facebook (and since the only people I have on Facebook are from Pajiba, basically you're all pretty much here from Pajiba). However, sometimes folks get here by way of Google and the shit they're searching for is HI-larious! Below are some actual search phrases that led them to this here fancy blog. Please to enjoy!

"opposite of exciting" - Okay, 3 different people searched for that and wound up here. C'mon that's just funny!

But these just baffle me:
"mom jerking daddy off"
"moms and me or two guys"
"Bang My Step Mom"
"mom told me that it is good for girly boy to suck cock"
"Mom busted boys in jerking contest on the stairs"

Welcome visitors with sexual mommy issues! Pull up a chair and stay for a while. We love new people!