Wednesday, June 24, 2009

A Hodgepodge of Blah

Few things going on. Nothing really worthy of its own entry, so I'm just going to cram 'em all into one.

First up - Thirteen is sucking my will to live. Here's a tip, never hire someone based primarily on the tv shows they watch. (Turns out you can love both "The Office" AND be obsessed with "Twilight" & Edward Cullen. Who knew?) Ok, that's not really fair. *Anyone* in this position would annoy me, while they're training, because I'm terribly impatient and not good at hiding it. BUT, when I tell someone repeatedly to take notes about something I'm teaching them and then I tell them repeatedly to use said notes for future reference, I get peeved when they completely ignore this & continue to repeatedly ask me the same question. Also, I took a vacation day today. Our boss and other co-workers are still in the office. I didn't leave her completely on her own. I told Thirteen that she could call me if she had questions. Evidently, she thinks far more literally than I do, because she's called me for every question that has popped into her head today and also to tell me her aunt's dog died last night & she's sad. She called to ask me why her computer screen is turning green when she tries to quit a program. She called to ask me if she should have an applicant take a test. She called to ask me what she should do with an application I put on her desk last night. (I put a note on the application; it said, "Give to Deb W. Ask her to call the applicant to do a phone interview".) Then she called me back to ask me where Deb sits. Dude, that's not exactly what I meant when I said call if you have questions. Whatever, I'll eat that mistake. Live and learn.

Next - I got my hair straightened last night and it went, to put it mildly, horribly wrong. I get my hair straightened every 3 or 4 months and it normally comes out just dandy. For the record and at the risk of sounding terribly conceited, I have great hair. However, it's neither curly nor straight and it's not technically wavy either. It's more bumpy. It holds curl beautifully and it straightens nicely as well. It was damn near perfect in the '80's when big hair was all the rage. In the summer, the humidity makes it frizzy and knotted underneath and it takes entirely too much effort to maintain it for work, so I get it chemically straightened. For whatever reason, the lady I've been going to for 10 years decided to do it differently than she normally does and now...well, now it's just wretched. It looks like Hat Head. Like I've been wearing a knit cap pulled tightly over my crown for approximately 37 days and now I've taken it off. My hair is FAH-LAT smooshed against my skull at the top and then hangs straight and full at the bottom, so to say it looks rather like a pyramid would not be untrue. I paid $112 for this look that I could have achieved by wearing a do rag & using a flat iron.

And finally - something's wrong with my brain. I don't talk about this, to anyone, but I'm going through a really rough patch lately because I can't get this jerk out of my head. I hate myself for loving him and I hate myself for missing him and I hate myself for being a douchey, crybaby girl, but the fact of the matter is, he was my best friend and I miss him. Every day. It doesn't go away. It doesn't hurt less. It's not getting better. My heart aches & I get a lump in my throat every single day because every single day I want to talk to him. He has a starring role in most of my dreams and I hate that I wake up every morning and the first thing I think of is him. I want him to make me laugh and I want to know how he is and I want to be able to have a friendship with him and it makes me SO angry & sad that I can't. Balls.

Since I hate ending things on a total downer, I'm sharing this little tidbit with you. I recently installed a Stat Counter because I was curious as to how people wind up here. Not surprisingly, most of you are from Pajiba or Facebook (and since the only people I have on Facebook are from Pajiba, basically you're all pretty much here from Pajiba). However, sometimes folks get here by way of Google and the shit they're searching for is HI-larious! Below are some actual search phrases that led them to this here fancy blog. Please to enjoy!

"opposite of exciting" - Okay, 3 different people searched for that and wound up here. C'mon that's just funny!

But these just baffle me:
"mom jerking daddy off"
"moms and me or two guys"
"Bang My Step Mom"
"mom told me that it is good for girly boy to suck cock"
"Mom busted boys in jerking contest on the stairs"

Welcome visitors with sexual mommy issues! Pull up a chair and stay for a while. We love new people!


Jay said...

Well, I did get a psychologist and get on Lexapro recently so I could stop being a panicky freak when women decide they do like me too. So, clearly, I can't sympathize at all with anxiety or obsessive thoughts.

Anna von Beaverplatz said...


Those are some mighty long search phrases people are using... oh, and... !!!!!

I'm sorry you're having a rough patch, Sugar. If it helps, I'll come down there and tell Thirteen to stop being a dumbass, and to pay attention to her damn notes.

Also, I'll come have a sleepover. I bet I smell way better than that guy*, and I'll totally hop right into your dream-state and kick his butt out**.

* This is probably not true. I'm often kind of stinky.

** And I promise not to bring my finger-knives, because that would be TERRIFYING.

Lainey said...

I'm glad for you, Jay! You have all the girlies after you, so it's good that you can finally appreciate all that attention!

AvB - !!! Can you be here tomorrow? You can shower or not. I will just rub my new Purex laundry sheets on you if you are too stanky. And PS: Thank you.

Whorish Mouth said...

OMG you can see the search criteria? That's frightening.
Sorry to hear about the heartache. :( I can relate, which I think you know.
I'm not going to pretend I can offer advice but the thing that gets me through is the knowledge that no matter how much it aches, you aren't with this person at this time for a reason. I took a glance at your blog about him just now and I won't say "maybe someday" b/c it doesn't sound like he's very good for you, but maybe the fact that things didn't work means that there is someone out there much better for you.
Cliche much? Sorry. I mean it, though.
I see what you meant about relating to my Valentine's Day blog...I see Mr Apathy all over this.
The only suggestion I can make (which I guess goes against my "no advice" statement above, call me hypocritical) is that when you begin having those thoughts and feelings, do your best to distract yourself. I get that way about some things from time to time, especially when it comes to my own relationship, and it can be really hard to drag yourself away from it. It's especially excruciating when you're alone. But give it a shot...maybe if it doesn't help to ease the pain, it'll put it off until a later time when you can deal with it a little more easily, and with a clearer head.
Oh, and go watch The Holiday, I think Kate Winslet has a brilliant monologue about the pain of loving someone without getting love back.
My sincere best wishes to you. I'm sending good thoughts your way right now, wherever you might be.

Lainey said...

Whorish Mouth - thank you for coming by and thank you for your good wishes. You're absolutely right that distraction is *key*! I realized today that it's similar to quitting smoking. When I quit, I frequently had to distract myself, for just a few minutes, from craving a cigarette and then it would pass & I was ok. It's been 2.5 years & I still find myself craving a cigarette sometimes when I'm alone and bored. I suspect this might be similar. And yes, I think he & Mr. Apathy might have been brothers. At the very least, they're probably friends. Jerkwads.

Figgylicious said...

*sends hugs*

Hope things get better!

MelodyLane said...

Aw, Lainey, I send you hugs and gelato. It's very much like that smoking thing. I quit 4 years ago because I was waking up with chest pains at 23. I still want one every now and then even though I know it's bad for me and will cause more harm than it's worth. So would this asshat. You deserve better simply because you are damned kick ass and need someone who's worthy.

13 needs post-its on how to do everything.

Lainey said...

Figgy - Thanks, my dear and same to you!

Melody - Thanks for the hugs AND the gelato! You very succinctly said what I was thinking. Bad for me and no value added. Seriously, is there any purpose to cigarettes and emotionally distant men? Or Thirteen for that matter? *sigh* I've given her 2 different sets of post-its and explained that her life will be SOO much easier if she keeps notes on everything. For whatever reason, she continues to ignore my suggestions...