Sunday, July 5, 2009

Beirut, Quarters, Flip-Cup, Beer Pong...

What are 'drinking games I've never played', Alex?

Remember the drinking game, "I Never" (although some of my friends call it "Never Have I Ever" which seems ridiculously redundant to me)? I thought it might be fun to play it with or without the alcohol. Please feel free to contribute your own "Nevers" and hey, do some shots if you're feeling it. I don't drink, so I'll not be partaking, but you should feel free. In fact, while we're talking about it, now's as good a time as any to bring this up because it seems to get questioned on Facebook at least once a week. I don't drink, but I'm not against drinking. I used to drink, but never really excessively. Wellll, a couple of times pretty excessively. I didn't *quit* drinking so much as I just stopped without realizing it. I think I stopped right around when I quit smoking. I wasn't a big drinker before that, because I don't get buzzed. I go from stone-cold sober to WASTED with no warning. Sometimes it's from one vodka martini and sometimes it's after 4. Sometimes one glass of wine would be my undoing and sometimes I could drink most of a bottle. Whether I had eaten beforehand seemed to have no bearing on the situation. It was always a crapshoot as to whether I'd have a drink and be fine or have a drink and be hammered. Also, I got horrible hangovers that took all day to get over. So, essentially, I just stopped drinking because it wasn't worth the hassle and I think you've all learned by now that I am LAZY as sin and will do anything to avoid effort or hassles.

Ok, with that out of the way, back to the game. So, here are a couple of my "Nevers" and I really hope you guys will play, too.

* I've never eaten Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
My dad thought it was disgusting & wouldn't allow it in the house when I was growing up. The smell makes me gag and I used to lock myself in my room when my roommates made it.

* I've never shared a bedroom.
I don't have siblings, so I never had to. And I've never lived with a boyfriend & I haven't been married, so again, never had to.

* I've never watched "The Wire"
And I kind of have no desire to even though the Pajiba Overlords RAVE about it. In fact, because I'm an obstinate twit, the more everyone goes on about it, the more I don't want to watch it.

* I've never spent the whole weekend in bed making love.
I've spent the entire weekend fucking (you're not wrong in thinking that I am klass-ay), but not the lazy, affectionate, lovey-dovey, can't-get-enough-of-staring-at-each-other, lovemaking that I read about & see in TV & movies.

* I've never owned a brand new car.
I could afford to buy one, I just won't. It seems like a waste of money and also, I'm fairly certain that buying a NEW car would ensure that I would be in my first car accident. Which brings me to:

* I've never been in a car accident.
2 minor fender benders - once I rear-ended someone and caused no damage to either car and once I was rear-ended by someone on the highway when traffic was stopped. Minor damage to my car & dented fender on theirs.

Now I want to read yours! They can be serious or funny. As many as you want. Just share!


Optimus Rhyme said...

I feel the same way about ramen noodles. I can't even be in the same room.
But I have seen exactly one episode of The Wire. And it was really as good as everyone said.

meaux said...

First off, you aren't missing anything by not eating Kraft Dinner (is it a Canadianism to call Kraft Mac & Cheese "Kraft Dinner"?). I've eaten it, but it's not what I'd call enjoyable. A lot of people enjoy it with ketchup, but that grosses me right out. *shudder*

Secondly, I'm with you on The Wire. I bowed to the Pajiba pressure to watch Battlestar and it did nothing for me, so I'm not falling for that again!

Soooo....I've never...hmm. Let me think.

Okay, I've never wanted a puppy. Always been a hardcore animal lover, but I grew up in a cat household. I love other people's dogs, and I find puppies absolutely adorable. But (much like babies) I just see them as darling little bundles of responsibility and effort that smell kinda funny, and therefore have no desire to possess one. We have neighbour dogs that occasionally drop by for a visit, and that's just perfect for me!

Anna von Beaverplatz said...

Hee! I'm with meaux on puppies. And babies. And ketchup on the Kraft, though I can't imagine never having eaten it.. I love the stuff. As an occasional treat, though, not a staple.

I have been in a few car accidents, and totalled a couple of cars, which led to my refusal to drive for about 10 years. Then I started again when I was actually ready to, and haen't had an accident since. Yay! Also, I do have a new car, my very first, and I recommend it. There really is nothing like new car smell.

Let's see what I have never.... I have never been off the Eastern seaboard, and I have been to very few places on it (Cape Cod, Florida, North Carolina once, various spots in NY and PA. Pretty sure that's it.) I am not a well traveled person. I haven't seen... well, anything, really. It makes me kind of sad, but on the other hand, gives me something to look forward to. Someday!

Oh, and i have also never seen The Wire.

Lainey said...

Optimus - I ate approximately 90 pounds of Top Ramen & Cup O'Noodles in my broke-ass 20's, but yeah now, *urp* Smelling it in the break room at work triggers my gag reflex.

Meaux - And there goes the gag reflex again! I don't eat ketchup (Or mustard. Mustard's even MORE disgusting.) so the idea of combining it with the Mac & Cheese is more vile than I can contemplate. I've not heard it called "Kraft Dinner" here, but maybe it is and I just never knew what they were taking about. And yeah, the 'jibans got me with "Battlestar Galactica", too. I REALLY wanted to like it, but the 1st five episodes bored the hell out of me & I thought the acting was crap. Maybe that's part of why I'm resisting "The Wire". I'm afraid I'll be disappointed again.

AvB - What did you do when you didn't drive? Do they have trains where you are? We need to get those here. I'd love to have a new car, I really, really would, but I just know I'd probably get broadsided driving it off the lot. Plus, I would be all concerned about every ding or scratch or speck of dirt. OMG, we should go on a road trip!! To Canadia!!

onthevirg said...

WHAT?!?! You've never tried watching just one ep of the Wire? Lainey, you are seriously, seriously missing out. That show is f*@king awesome. You really need to give it a go. It's one of the best TV shows ever made.

Hmmmm...I've never been to the East Coast at all. And I've always wanted to visit Boston.

Sarah said...

I've never seen "The Wire", either. And even though I've been on four of the seven continents, I've never been to Canadia, even though I live right the hell next door to it. I've never been arrested, which is probably fortunate for more than just the obvious reasons, as I can only imagine what kind of trouble my smartass mouth would get me into in jail. I've never broken a bone (cartilege doesn't count), never cut my own hair, and never been clinically dead for more than six minutes. Oh, and I've never been in love.

Lainey said...

Virg - I'm sure I'll watch it someday. But, seriously, everyone said the same thing about "BSG" and "Dexter" and I watched the first disc of both of those shows and was *completely* unimpressed. In the interest of fairness, I will say that I refused to watch "Firefly", too and then when I finally did I smacked myself for not seeing it sooner. Also - you should totally go to Boston & go bike riding with TK!

Sarah - Do you want to go on the road trip to Canadia with me and AvB? You've never cut your own hair? Like even your bangs? And dude, as clumsy as you are, I can't even believe you've never broken a bone. That's fascinating!!