Friday, October 30, 2009

Baby Got Back...

So, yeah, I understand that diet and exercise are the way to lose weight and get in shape.  However, I also understand that I'm lazier than shit and I'm not so good at monitoring my own diet if my pants size is any indicator.

I've always been curvy, but not fat - I'd say, "thick" or "chunky" (Mmmm, like salsa!), until I quit smoking a few years ago.  I've gained 30 pounds and I just seem to keep adding to it.  I've done Weight Watchers and been REALLY dedicated to it, but didn't lose more than 5 - 10 pounds.  My doctor prescribed diet pills (SPEED - WOOHOO!) and not only did I feel like *ass*, I only lost a few pounds and gained it back as soon as I went off of them.  I used to exercise with the ex, but he was in fantastic shape and I couldn't keep up, so I'd get frustrated and stop.  I have a WiiFit and I'm really trying to make myself use it with regularity, but so far, I can't seem to make myself use it even though I enjoy the hell out of it while I'm playing.

I'm a few months shy of turning 40.  My father's heart attack kind of scared me and made me reexamine my own lard-lined arteries.  I'm single and haven't been on a date date in several years because I have a hard time trying to date when I feel like a whale and I'm a tiny, little petite chick, so that much extra weight makes me look as wide as I am tall.   I need to lose about 30 - 40 pounds and I need to do something that shows some results or I'll give up and quit trying.  (Yes, I realize that I'm an assy baby about this, I'm just trying to be honest with myself and with you and despite wanting to NOT be an assy baby, I know my limitations.)

Yes, I talk about waffles all the time, but seriously, I really don't eat them that often and I'm not even lying when I say I eat relatively healthfully (I LOVE vegetables and fruit and recently I don't seem to really like meat, so I don't eat hamburgers, hot dogs or sausage), I only eat fast food maybe twice a month and I don't drink sugar soda.  My biggest problems seem to be that I fail at packing my lunch for work and then eat whatever is closest; I eat late at night, since I tend to not go to bed until 1:00 AM; and I am a huge fan of butter, cheese, and anything with the word "cake" in it.  I think I could possibly benefit from a restrictive & strict diet that's pre-packaged and is planned for me.

Now that I've rambled on (too bad excessive typing doesn't burn significant calories), here's my question to you:  I'm seriously considering joining Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, or Chefs Diet (which is sort of like The Zone food delivery service, except not the REALLY good shit that rich people and celebrities get).  These are all fairly expensive and I will be a bitter, bitter bunny if the food tastes, looks or smells like barf.  Have any of you tried any of those programs or known anyone who has?  Were they/you successful in the weight loss?  Was the food edible?  Would it work for a picky eater?  Did the weight come back after going off the program? 

Any feedback is GREATLY appreciated!


Spender said...

First of all, you're beautiful, so shut up.
Secondly, my pal Barb did nutri-system and lost forty pounds but she also exercised. She exercised prior to nutri-system but the diet did wonders, in combo.
Thirdestly... well, anything I say is gonna sound patronizing, so I'll hold it until later.

Lizzie said...

I don't know anything about any of the food systems, but I know that I need to start losing some weight for my health as well--I'm with you on the petite thing, and I really do feel as wide as a house quite often. One of my big problems is not packing lunch too. then i end up eating shit like 7-11. blergh.

I hear that having someone doing the same things as you at the same time helps with motivation and whatnot. Want a exercise/eating healthier (I hate the word diet) buddy?

Rusty said...

Good luck getting healthy! I've never tried any of those diet programs, but when I went to Ireland I put on about 15 pounds because of Guinness and amazing Irish dairy products. Not a lot, but enough to swing me of the delicate wee bone structure from "naturally slender" to "five months pregnant" without distributing in a useful way, like to give me a figure. Anyway, when I got back home I quit eating after 9pm and started drinking more water (like, I kept track of it in a little notebook and everything) and the weight came off. Obviously everyone's body works differently, blah blah, but I think cutting out night snacking helps a lot. Also, I ate terrible food when I ate late at night, so that may have something to do with it too.

meaux said...

Want two excercise/eating healthier buddies?? I'm kind of in the same boat; in the past couple of years I've put on about fifteen pounds. It's really sneaking up on me, too--lucky for me, I'm tall enough that the weight is distributed and my clothes still fit (more snugly, mind you), but the numbers are telling. I've never been a petite gal, but if this keeps up, I'm just done for!

Like you, I tend to eat fairly well. I do have to start watching portion size more closely, for sure...and cut down on the liquid calories (damn you, readily available homemade booze). Got to start getting back to the ol' gymatorium on a regular basis, too...*sigh*

Cindy said...

Don't be mad with me, but I'm going to say screw the prepackaged food in favor of moving your ass. I know it's hard, and it's not always enjoyable, but it's the best way to keep one's weight in check. Plus, it's good for your health and those lardy veins. I'm small too, so five pounds even can make a difference. I have issues with night snacking, which I wish I could cut out altogether. But anyway, is there anything you enjoy doing? Or do you have a friend nearby you could walk/run with or take a class with? I found vigorous yoga to be a lifesaver for me (mentally too). I take a couple of classes a week and then I go on the horrible, boring, awful, terrible, mean nasty treadmill at home a few times a week.

lordhelmet said...

I've heard good things about the Dr. Bernstein diet. It's a hard diet to do, where you eat minimal meat and carbs and loads of vegetables and some fruit, but it's all about portion control and drinking lots of fluid. It's basically self-starvation, where you purposely induce ketosis and monitor with ketone sticks (I think they're called), but it's actually very healthy and good to knock off the pounds quickly. If you do it officially it's damned expensive and comes with tough love and vitamin B shots but those are probably not critical. The best thing is it recalibrates your apetite and sets you into healhier habits. Whatever you choose, good luck, and do it for your health, not for other people, k?

Spender said...

And never forget that you ARE beautiful.

Lainey said...

Spender - Thank you! I would like to be beautifuler though! Feel free to be patronizing. It's not like I don't get holier-than-thou on everyone else.

Liz & meaux - My boss and I are probably going to "compete" against each other, so if I have more help and support on my side, SUPER! Let's exchange some messages over on FB and see if we can get a support thang going!

Rusty - I drink three or four 20 oz bottles of water a day, if I add more, I'll be peeing every 20 minutes instead of my usual every 45 minutes! =) The eating late thing is DEFINITELY something I need to fucking stop doing. I go from "I'll just eat a handful of grapes; how bad can that be?" to "half a cheesecake is FINE! It's mostly made of milk, which is calcium and NECESSARY for bones!" in a frighteningly short period of time.

Cindy - You're not wrong! And if I had that kind of discipline, my fat ass wouldn't be sitting here contemplating the fatness of my ass. The problem, for me, is that if I don't see results right away, I get discouraged and give up. I am well aware that this is a shitty attitude and hope to one day change it, but for now, I need some help in order to not become Lainey Bryant*.

lordhelmet - I just looked at a couple of the Dr. Bernstein diet things and I don't think that would be something I would excel at. Mostly, it's the whole starvation thing. And yes, I'm trying to improve my health, but I'd be lying like a DOG to say that I'm not also trying to look better. I think anyone else who says they're losing weight ONLY for their health would be a lying liar as well.

* Lane Bryant is a store for plus-size women for those not familiar with the reference. I have no idea if they have them in Canadianaida.

The Management said...

Lainey, I would do terrible, unmenionable things to your "overweight" little body.

I'm in the same boat as you. I need to lose about twenty to thirty pounds and my problem is that I know exactly what I've got to do. Stop snacking after 7:00 and leave the potato chips alone. I started riding my bike and cutting out the chips and lost ten pounds in a month. I didn't have to stop eating what I like at all (except the chips). My biggest problem is that the bike riding got boring, there was no competition so I've quit doing it. seriously, exercise and no snacks will make a world of difference.

P.S. You're gorgeous.

rebeccah said...

It sounds to me like you identified a major hurdle - the taking food part.

I HATE doing it, but the simple truth is if you take it with you, you act stuck with it. It works out pretty well.

I recommend a costco style bulk buy of apple chips, raisins, popcorn, juice boxes...even jerky! whatever suits you...and then also buy the ziplock container pack to put it in. Every dinner, make a bit more and bag it for next day. Buy a cute lunchbox or whatnot.

Or, join a group that does weekly cooking for the same purpose. If you can get even one other person into it, you can trade half and avoid a full week of borcht.

Also - tea. Endless warm bellyfuls of herbal tea.

The side effect of pulling this off is that recreational 'eating out' is WAY better when you do it as a treat, and the routine and similarity of the food puts you off eating too much. Eating becomes boring maintenance instead of a recreational activity which is the cycle to break.

Just my notions, because my pants have betrayed me too and just won't stop...I'm trying all of these things too.

Packaged food is in and of itself, poor nutrition.

Spender said...

The Management wrote: "Lainey, I would do terrible, unmentionable things to your "overweight" little body."
I found his comment to be terribly crude and offensive, as he did not say "WE", instead of "I".
Why not just pin me against the wall and knee me in the gonads, Doran, BUDDY?
Crap, you can't count on yer Perv-Partner, who can you count on, huh? What fuckin' kinda fucked up world are we livin' in, people?
*Stands on bridge, reaches into pocket, has a sad look as he flings battery operated dildo into the East River*

Sean said...

I'm on vacation at the moment, Lainey, but I'd like to have a brief conversation with you regarding this post. I'll e-mail or facebook you early next week, m'kay? I don't wanna just throw out advice in a comment without asking you a few questions first.

ScienceGeek said...

The ITGeek and I are doing WW at the moment, because we also had that same awful realisation that, yes, we eat crap and no, it's not curves anymore, it's fat.
One thing we realised was that eating healthy can still be overeating, especially when your portions are big, like ours were. We've actually had to restrict our fruit consumption. Especially fruit juice. Dead god, fruit juice is a hidden evil. Full fat dairy is bad too.
I found it hard to bring in my lunch too, so once a week, I bring in lots of 'desk drawer pantry' stuff like little cans of creamed rice or baked beans, that sort of stuff.

And when it comes to losing weight, exercise is not nearly as effective as calorie control. It's just that exercise is more important in keeping you healthy so, understandably, doctors recommend we do both.

ScienceGeek said...

P.S. Hope I don't sound like one of those annoying 'born again dieters', especially since you've had trouble. I just wanted to share what we've found useful.

P.P.S I'm also a big fan of buying yourself flowers when the diet's not going well. Firstly, because I find the diet goes as well as I'm feeling about myself and flowers are excellent mood boosters and secondly, as a NICE reminder to keep at it. Well, nicer than a picture of a pig on the fridge!

Mel Biv Devoe said...

I've been losing weight lately and I attribute it to several things:

1) Being too poor to eat out at lunchtime at work... so I agree with the others who encourage you to pack your own lunches

2) Being so tired that I go to bed early and don't eat anything after dinner... so I agree with the others who said to stop eating after 7 pm (if you're up late, I suppose you could push that back a bit)

3. I am on my feet and moving CONSTANTLY at work... I know you have a desk job, so maybe invest in a pedometer and challenge yourself to reach a certain amount of steps everyday? Do the small things - park on the far side of the parking lot, skip elevators, play WiiFit (I LOVE WiiFit)... I don't exercise, but being on the move helps a lot.

Hope this helps! You babe you :)

Girl With Curious Hair said...

I've tried to leave you at least three VERY helpful replies--and failed every time.

Now, I'll just say good for you for taking control of your health. I think you look great (and DO NOT BELIEVE you when you say you're about to turn 40), but what matters is that you feel good about what you see and that you feel healthy. I'm going to start down the same path soon. I have found yoga to give surprising quick results in toning (and it has a calming effect on my spazziness).

Good luck!

PS--I had to subsist on Jenny Craig food when I was house sitting back in college. It was like chewing on cardboard of various shapes. I hope they've improved.

Anonymous said...

I did Jenny Craig. They do recommend exercise as part of the program as you start losing weight. It does get easier as you start losing the weight. I did it locally instead of getting the food delivered so it helped me a lot to be accountable to someone every week. I lost about 30 lbs. and I have kept it off. They do start weaning you off the food as you reach your goal by giving you "free" days, so it makes it easier for you to keep eating correctly afterwards. It's like 100+ a week though to buy the meals plus you do have to buy extra stuff to complement them (spinach, yogurt, etc.) Food tasted good I think, just like frozen dinners that you can get at the supermarket. I always put them on a plate with the salad and they looked sort of pretty (if that makes sense). It worked for me and I learned how to eat on my own.

Good luck!!

Lainey said...

Wow, you guys are so great!

Management - Aww, thanks! You say the sweetest things! Did you stop snacking and still have the temptation there or do you make sure there aren't chips in your house? My weakness is nuts or seeds, which are ridiculously high in fat, and I can convince myself that they're good for me.

rebeccah- I really do need to buy healthier snacky foods & portion them out, so I'm not tempted to eat the bad crap. My problem is I'm not disciplined enough to stick with it when I get frustrated or am running short on time. I fail at self-control in most aspects of my life.

Spender - Never throw a battery operated dildo away. That's just wasteful!

Sean - That'd be great. Thanks!

ScienceGeek - Hi! I like the flexibility of WW, the problem (for me) is that it's maybe too flexible for me. I tend to do better when I have less options and less freedom to screw it up. That said, I've been thinking a lot about it today and have decided to go back on WW at least while I research my other options. Thanks for your input and I absolutely love the flowers idea as a reward!

MelBivDevoe - I never thought I'd say "unfortunately" about having money, but in this particular case, it's not an issue and even if I bring my lunch, I'll throw it away or save it for another time if something better (read: more fattening and greasier) is presented to me. You're absolutely right about using my WiiFit - it's fun and I love it when I'm doing it. I just have to MAKE myself play with it.

Girl - The WiiFit has some yoga options on it and I think if I can force my lazy ass out of bed in the morning, maybe just 15 or 20 minutes early, and start my day by moving (gently) it could have a really positive effect on my mood and on my fat ass. And you're very sweet, thank you.

Anonymous - Hi! Thanks for your input. It's good to know that if I decide to do it, the food tastes decent. I was afraid it looked and smelled like cat food and then I knew I'd never stick with it. I'm going to do some more research online, but I'm not ruling Jenny C. out.