This happened today.
Dad: Sorry to bother you at work; I know you're busy.Me: Not really. Just dicking around on Facebook at the moment.
Dad: What's a facebook?Me: You know what? Doesn't matter. What's up?
Dad: Do I have an email?Me: Um, no.
Dad: Why not?Me: You don't have a computer.
Dad: You have to have a computer to have the email?Me: No, but you can't read the email without a computer or on your phone.
Dad: If I had an email would it just be "Denny at the internet dot com"?Me: No. No, it would not.
Dad: Why not?Me: Dad, do you think you're the only Denny in the world?
Dad: Well, no shit, obviously, it would be "Denny Bobainey* at the internet dot com".Me: Obviously.
Dad: So, can you make me an email and if I tell someone to send me something, do I tell them "Denny Bobainey at the internet dot com"?Me: No. Dad.... I can create an email address for you, but why don't you just have them send it to my email address and I'll print it for you?
Dad: Because. Just make me that email.Me: Ok, whatever. Are you waiting for something, 'cause that's not a real email address.
Dad: Well, it will be when you make it.Me: No, Dad...it doesn't really work that way.
Dad: Why not? How many Denny Bobaineys can there be?Me: It's not a valid address - there is no such thing as "at the internet dot com", but even if there was, let's just say there was, I have no idea how many Denny Bobaineys there are in the world and also, your name doesn't even have to actually be Denny Bobainey to use it.
Dad: What? You mean Dick McDickface, down the street, can use my name for his internet if he wants?Me: Well, yes, but if his name's Dick McDickface, I don't know why he'd want your name. His name is AWESOME.
Dad: No, seriously, anyone can use my name and pretend to be me?Me: Well, kind of.
Dad: Well, that's some bullshit right there.Me: Maybe you should write to the president and tell him that.
Dad: I CAN'T - I don't have an EMAIL and even if I did, how would the president really know it was me?Me: I don't know. I'll have to think about that and get back to you.
20 seconds later the phone rings:
Dad: Is Facebook that internet yearbook thing?Me: Kinda', yeah, it kind of is.
Dad: Look on there and see if anyone's pretending to be me!
*Not his real name. Please don't try to impersonate him on the internets or try to steal his Social Security Checks.