This happened today.
Dad: Sorry to bother you at work; I know you're busy.
Me: Not really. Just dicking around on Facebook at the moment.Dad: What's a facebook?
Me: You know what? Doesn't matter. What's up?Dad: Do I have an email?
Me: Um, no.Dad: Why not?
Me: You don't have a computer.Dad: You have to have a computer to have the email?
Me: No, but you can't read the email without a computer or on your phone.Dad: If I had an email would it just be "Denny at the internet dot com"?
Me: No. No, it would not.Dad: Why not?
Me: Dad, do you think you're the only Denny in the world?Dad: Well, no shit, obviously, it would be "Denny Bobainey* at the internet dot com".
Me: Obviously.Dad: So, can you make me an email and if I tell someone to send me something, do I tell them "Denny Bobainey at the internet dot com"?
Me: No. Dad.... I can create an email address for you, but why don't you just have them send it to my email address and I'll print it for you?Dad: Because. Just make me that email.
Me: Ok, whatever. Are you waiting for something, 'cause that's not a real email address.Dad: Well, it will be when you make it.
Me: No, Dad...it doesn't really work that way. Dad: Why not? How many Denny Bobaineys can there be?
Me: It's not a valid address - there is no such thing as "at the internet dot com", but even if there was, let's just say there was, I have no idea how many Denny Bobaineys there are in the world and also, your name doesn't even have to actually be Denny Bobainey to use it.Dad: What? You mean Dick McDickface, down the street, can use my name for his internet if he wants?
Me: Well, yes, but if his name's Dick McDickface, I don't know why he'd want your name. His name is AWESOME.Dad: No, seriously, anyone can use my name and pretend to be me?
Me: Well, kind of. Dad: Well, that's some bullshit right there.
Me: Maybe you should write to the president and tell him that.Dad: I CAN'T - I don't have an EMAIL and even if I did, how would the president really know it was me?
Me: I don't know. I'll have to think about that and get back to you.20 seconds later the phone rings:
Dad: Is Facebook that internet yearbook thing?
Me: Kinda', yeah, it kind of is.Dad: Look on there and see if anyone's pretending to be me!
And scene!
*Not his real name. Please don't try to impersonate him on the internets or try to steal his Social Security Checks.
12 comments:
That is awesome and close to my conversations with my mother. Even though she DOES have an email and a FB page, she's still . . . well I'm going to call her special.
--MyySharona
I seriously couldn't stop laughing. Specially the Dick McDickface bit. Brilliant!
He obviously has great faith in your abilities to make things on the internet. He may have sounded a little bit like a kid insisting he's grown up. He doesn't want YOUR email address, he wants his OWN.
Seriously, I laughed so much.
Dear Godtopus... I cannot stop laughing!
Thank you.
This was hilarious. I like your dad.
That was totally hilarious. Happy Wednesday morning!
I'm going to start impersonating your dad because I need to reach that level of oblivious awesomeness!
I love it! Tell your Dad I'm sending him an email - all he has to do is find it.
I love your dad, so, so much. I'm totally stealing his email address. In future, you can email me at DennyBobainey @ the internet.com.
I heart your dad.
You two are freakin hilarious! Thank you, that was really really the best laugh I've had all day.
Aw, thanks guys! I told my dad I wrote a blog post about him. He, of course, asked if he had a blog. I told him "no" and he seemed ok with that. Then he asked me why I have one and I said, "Because sometimes I have funny things happen and people like to read about it" and he said, "Who? Who would want to read about your life? You watch tv and you have a cat. How interesting can your life be? I watch tv and I don't currently have a cat, but I've had them in past. Maybe I should have a blog."
I didn't have an argument for that.
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