Friday, November 20, 2009

Special Little Snowflakes

This may be rambling and incoherent - I'll do my best to stay on topic and to self-edit.

Usually around Christmas everyone wants to take vacation time, but the office still needs to be staffed, so they limit the number of people who can be off at the same time.  A couple of years ago our senior management team made the decision to let employees who worked on Christmas Eve day leave 2 hours earlier than the end of their scheduled shift and get paid for those 2 hours.  It was a perk for the employees who had to come in that day.  If you took a vacation day on Christmas Eve, however, you had to use 8 hours of PTO.

This year, our senior management team made the decision to close the office at 12:00 on Christmas Eve.  They also decided it was dumb to limit the amount of people who could have the day off, since most of the companies or agencies we do business with are closed or are short-staffed also.  Additionally, for reasons I still don't understand, they've also decided to pay everyone for 4 hours, whether they work or not.  So, basically, if you choose to take the day off, you can and you only have to use 4 hours of PTO and the Company will pay for the other 4 hours to give you a full day's pay.  If you don't have any PTO and you choose to work that day, you only have to work 4 hours and the company will pay you for a full 8-hour day.  Sounds great, right?  Yeah, not to everyone, apparently...

One of our Special Little Snowflakes has decided that this is somehow unfair.  In the past, the extra 2 hours of pay was a REWARD for coming in and working, but NOW the Company is going to pay EVERYONE 4 hours whether they work or not and to her, that's not fair!  It's not fair that if she comes in to work, someone who chooses to take off that day still gets the same benefit she gets.  She's, in her words, "being PENALIZED" for coming in and working. 

Wait, what?  Seriously?  Yeah, she's in a snit because everyone gets 4 hours paid and she's evidently pissed because she gets paid for an additional 2 hours and has to work 2 hours LESS than in previous years...let that sink in.  She's mad and thinks it's unfair because why should EVERYONE get this "perk"?  What the fuck is wrong with you?   I don't understand this logic.  Can someone please explain this to me?   Also, can someone explain the word "penalize" to her, because I don't think it means what she thinks it means.

OK, fine, so she's just some random malcontent - EXCEPT, no, she's posted this all over her Facebook page and because she's a goddamned genius, she's "friended" her supervisor, who then brings it to HR, because now it's a "morale issue".  Wait, back up.  The Company is paying employees to not  work or to be at work for half a day and somehow we have a morale problem because of this?  I swear don't understand.  Am I being dense?  Can someone PLEASE explain this to me?


MelodyLane said...

HOW, how, HOW did you NOT smack special snowflake upside her obviously empty head?

Smokin said...

I vote you smash her over the head with a snowglobe.

Just, you know, because.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

I'm amazed at the level of crazy. I mean, if someone pays you for four hours of work while you go home to enjoy Christmas Eve, you do the happy dance and leave.

Anonymous said...

first, you put the word in all caps, drawing me into its penile embrace, then i see that HB has already tramp-stamped your comment box and suddenly, is it hot in here?
*opens a window*

but yeah, on-topic: let's see.
hmmm. people are dumb. work is dumb. also, i hate her.


p.s. the word i have to type down there is "SESSE", why does the internet taunt me so?

Pants said...

Her logic makes my brain hurt. She's probably just pissed off because she now has two extra hours on Christmas Eve she doesn't know what to do with, because she has no friends and her family kind of hates her because she's always bitching about how she spent more money on gifts than everybody else and how that insanely hot bitch Lainey in HR is out to get her and life's unfair and why DOESN'T ANYBODY LIKE ME? WEH WEH WEH!!!

The Management said...

She's mad because her man won't play with her ladybits anymore, her dog won't play with her ladybits anymore and every time she grabs Ol' Shakey the batteries mysteriously die.

Actually, she's pissed because other people are getting something. It's not about her at all and that's cause for concern. It's about other people benefittig and given this complaint I would advise you to terminate her. With extreme prejudice.

Snath said...

I'm sure it's a martyr thing. She was getting off on being "Poor Little Special Snowflake" that just had to work on Christmas Eve. Boohoo. She's so special and look at her dedication! She's being rewarded for her hard work on a holiday!

Now the management has decided that everyone is special, so she's lost her status, and is pissed off. I have people like that in my life, too.

The Management said...

Eric, under no circumstances do I think everyone is special. Unless we're talking short bus special, in which case, you're correct.

See what I did there?

Snath said...

I see! I see!

Cindy said...

Two words: Twat Waffle.
One word: Twatwaffle.

You can go either way.

Lainey said...

Mel & Smokin - The fact that physical violence is a fireable offense is about the only thing that keeps me from braining some of these snowflakes.

Girl - Right? I don't even understand how dancing ISN'T the typical reaction.

gp - Oh I love that Blogger embraces the sessy!

Pants - How I've missed you! She has SIX kids. Maybe she hates spending time at home because she has SIX kids?

Management & Snath - I think you're both right. I think she does view herself as a martyr and I'm sure she's not the only one, just one of the most vocal. As much as it PAINS me to go along with this, I've decided that we will also do something nice for the folks who do come in on Christmas Eve. I'm not sure what, but we'll do something to reward their "sacrifice". I swear to God, Generation Y is going to be the death of me.

Cindy - I enjoy the economy of words with Twatwaffle. I like knowing that I have options though.