Sunday, July 18, 2010

Things That Are Bothering Me TODAY

  • Having to clean ALL of the things when I feel like I JUST cleaned ALL of the things when I MOVED ALL of the things.  There should be a free pass for 90 days after that.
  • Dropping my toast on my new couch - butter-side down.
  • Anyone who says I shouldn't be eating toast on my new couch.
  • Emails from people telling me they miss me, but those same people never being particularly engaged in talking to me when I'm around.
  • Blogger REFUSING to go to the next line when I hit "enter" and making me MANUALLY drop to the next line.  
  • Lying down too quickly and smooshing my boobs.
  • Cat hair.
  • Guys who send me emails from the personals thing that just say, "Hey - how you doing?"  I'm fine.  REALLY, that's what you came up with as an opening?  Go sit down.  Oh and part two of this?  You don't have to be a good speller anymore, that's why Al Gore invented Spellchecker.  Use it for fuck's sake.
  • The cat who REFUSES to sit on the window perch that I bought and installed for her and instead lays on the bathroom floor.  Jerk.
  • Amazing sex dreams in the morning that won't get out of your head for the rest of the day.
  • Humidity making my hair look like Roseanne Rosannadanna.
  • Having to look up how to spell Roseanne Rosannadanna.
  • People who are too young to know who Roseanne Rosannadanna is.
  • Hot guys who are too young for me.
  • Hot guys who are too married for me.
  • Hot weather that is too hot for me.
  • LeBron James.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


Ok, real quick - so this is NOT part two of the other post - I'll get to that later.  This is just a little exchange I had with my father.  Oh, backstory, um, my sexyfuntime friend will be here tomorrow night and we will be, um, getting together. 

Dad:  Lainey, can you take me up to drop off my car at the shop tomorrow when you get off work?
Me:  Um, can I take you up there tonight?  I have plans tomorrow night.
Dad:  Right after work?  What are you doing?
Me:  Um, a friend is in town.
Dad:  Ok, well, I was going to make dinner and wanted to see if you wanted to join me.
Me:  Oh, thanks.  Um, can we do it another night?
Dad:  Well, why don't you just bring your friend by?
Me:  We have plans already.
Dad:  What are you going to do?
Me:  What's with all the questions?  I don't know.  Probably watch a movie and catch up.  We haven't seen each other in awhile.
Dad:  Ok, well if you get bored, you and your friend can come by for dessert.


Saturday, July 10, 2010

Out with the Old and in with the New (or OwtOaiwtN for those who prefer acronyms)

As you may have noticed (or not, I don't know how observant some of you are), I've not been around much lately.  Here, Pajiba, and even Facebook, to a degree.  Lots of stuff going on - some good, some bad, but all for the better, I think.

Oh, but first, I owe you an update on the sabotager (I'm sorry, but "saboteur" just sounds so snooty).  After extensive observation from our IT department, we felt there was enough evidence to support the suspicion that she had been deliberately sabotaging her co-worker's reports and we fired her.  She denied, denied, DENIED it and then accused IT of setting her up.  Unemployment disagreed with us and despite PAGES of documentation, awarded her benefits because we didn't have definitive proof that she did it.  I guess you have to actually videotape them doing it and then you probably have to prove that the video is actually of THEM and not some look-alike that you hired and then you probably have to send them DNA evidence, too.  Whatever. 

Moving on.  Blogger has new templates and since I've made over my entire apartment in the last month, I decided to make over this here fancy blog, too.  Let me know what you think.  (Or, if you just want to make an assy comment, don't let me know what you think.  I don't really have a lot of patience for assyness right now.)  Back to the apartment!  Those of you on Facebook are probably sick to death of hearing about the redecoration EXTRAVAGANZA, so feel free to skip ahead.  To the rest - OMG, I TOTALLY got my apartment redid and it is SO exciting!  I've lived here for 12 or 13 years and while I've always liked my apartment, I never LOVED it.  I always liked its potential, but it never lived up to that potential because the landlord wouldn't put any money into it and I wouldn't either.  The paint was old and cracked and yellowed, the carpet was a hideous barf color and really qualified more as a mat than a carpet, and the windows were just... rattley glass in hard to open frames.  On my end, the furniture was all mismatched, over-sized crap I got from friends or bought a piece here or a piece there, and I had kind of given up on making it look nice, because no matter how much I cleaned (FINE, no matter how much the person I hired to clean cleaned) it still looked like a mishmash of clutter and dingy neglect.  NOW, THOUGH?  Sparkly and clean and pretty!  New carpet and fresh paint in cheery yellow and ice blue, brand-spankin' new double-hung windows, which holy cow, I've never had new windows before and I *might* have a slight obsession with cleaning them (Ilovethemsomuch!), and new blinds that are being installed by my landlord as I type this.  I bought a whole new living room and dining room set and a new bed, plus little extras like pictures, bookshelves, and a red microwave.  How does the red microwave have any relevance?  It DOESN'T.  I just WANTED it, is that OK with YOU?   Anyway, it's been a lot of work packing up and moving all of my crap & throwing out tons of junk, but it's all pretty and new now and I'm happy as can be!  It even has that new carpet smell instead of old, dusty, years-of-smoking smell.

Balls.  This is getting really long and I have a lot more to say, but I hate reading super long meandering blog posts, so I'm going to save it for PART 2: EXTRAVAGANZA SUPERSEXYNOVA OF SPARKLEBLAHBLAHBLAH.  Or something. 

Oh, ok, but real quick - I bought these fun trash bags because I had to cart like, I don't know, A MILLION bags of crap out before the carpet could be ripped out and replaced and I am nothing if not frivolous.  How cute are these!?  I KNOW, right?