Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Who am I? Who am I? I'm a walrus...

Ok, so why am I doing this? I’ve always enjoyed writing. It’s one of the few things that comes easily to me and that I actually think I’m good at. (Ending the preceding sentence with a preposition notwithstanding.) I’ve heard from several people throughout my life that I write well and that I should pursue it as a career. Yeah, that never really interested me. Lainey Fun Fact #1 – if I have to do something, I don’t want to do it. Ever. Doesn’t matter what it is. If I have to eat 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts, I don’t want to do it. If I have to make out with a super cute, successful, kind, funny guy– kinda' don’t really want to ( I probably WILL though, I’m not stupid) – also, I think that’s called molestation or coercion or something if I have to do it. Anyway, tangent…sorry, happens a lot though so you may want to get used to it. If I had to write to pay my bills, I would be miserable and living in my car.

So, why am I doing this? I’m not entirely sure, but I think I need a distraction. I think I always need a distraction. I think I need something to replace my last distraction. I think I need something that’s secret and mine. Something I don’t need to defend or explain. Something that I get some degree of satisfaction from, but it doesn’t monopolize my life.

Here’s the hard part though. How much do I share and how much do I keep hidden? If it’s anonymous and no one I know will read it, I should, theoretically, be able to be completely honest and not have to censor myself at all, right? However, if this becomes in any way interactive and I “get to know” readers or other bloggers, then it’s not anonymous anymore even if no one knows my real name or knows me in real life. Such a conundrum. Why must I make even the simplest things difficult? See above: distraction.

So here goes – in “real life”, I’m an open book. I have no filter between my brain and my mouth. If I think it, I say it. This is surprisingly acceptable in my job, which is so weird since I’m in Human Resources. Oddly enough, I can keep stuff about work totally and completely quiet and confidential. I have no interest in (& am prohibited from) talking about other people’s salaries or corrective actions or other work-related drama. But, in my personal life I will tell you anything you want to know and probably many, many, many things you don’t want to know. I tend to overshare. I’m going to try to balance that here. I’d like to be able to be completely honest, but I don’t want to give away details of my personal life that, should we meet on the street someday, you’ll shrink away from me and hope you don’t catch something. That was a joke. Or was it?* Balancing act…


* It was, in fact, a joke. God, I already suck at this intrigue thing…

2 comments:

dmbmeg said...

Welcome to the narcissistic world of blogging :)

Lainey said...

Thanks, DmbMeg! I think yours may have been the first blog I ever read (I know for sure that it was the first one I spent an entire weekend reading), so having you be the first (probably the only! haha) to comment is awesome!