I have a new idea for a reality show. After the success of “Joe Millionaire”, “The Bachelor”, “Farmer Wants a Wife” and “What’s This on My Shoe?” I have a can’t-miss show. We’ll put a smart, self-sufficient, funny woman (let’s just say me, for the sake of argument) in a room with 50 guys. 49 of them will be successful, emotionally generous, financially secure, kind, witty, loving men. One will be a douche.
I will find the douche.
No matter what. Doesn’t matter how much money is on the line. Doesn’t matter how many “Phone a Friends” I get. Doesn’t matter if I’m actually even trying or not. Hell, you could even blindfold me. I will find the douche. It’s like a gift I have. (It works with expensive shoes too, by the way. I can walk into any shoe store and *instantly* find the most expensive pair of shoes without even trying.)
We’ll call it “Who Wants to Feel Like Shit ALLLL the Time, but Will Continue to Give and Give and Give Some More Until 4 Years Have Passed and You’re a Shell of the Person You Once Were and Yet You Somehow Manage to Convince Yourself That It’s Your Fault!”
Someone call FOX, I smell a hit!