Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Not Everyone Can Be An Astronaut

In pursuit of my latest addiction, Aquafina lip balm, (SHUT UP, addiction is a serious matter and is not something to be ridiculed!) I went to DrugMart, by my house.  I call it MethMart and trust me when I tell you that in order for me to willingly go there, I was DESPERATE for my balm fix.  I found my presssshhhus (and maybe some blueberry cheesecake ice cream, again, stfu, thankyouverymuch) and headed to the checkout line.  The girl behind the register was about 19 or 20 and was a big fan of glittery eyeshadow and lip piercings that maybe looked a tidge infected.  This was our conversation.

Me:  Hi, how are you?
Her:  What?
Me:  How are you?
Her:  Oh.
Me: . . .
Her:  I've never seen this before.  I didn't know Aquafina made lip balm.
Me:  It's great - it's my new favorite.
Her:  What does it taste like?  Does it taste like water?
Me. . . Pardon?
Her:  The lip balm, does it taste like water?
Me: Um... no.  It tastes kind of minty.
Her:  Oh.  I don't think I would like that. 
Me:  Pardon?
Her:  I don't think I would like that.  Huh, it's weird.
Me:  Oh... um, well, I have a lot of lip balms that are mint-flavored, so I guess I'm used to it.
Her:  No, I meant mint-flavored water.  I didn't know they had that.  I don't think I'd like it.
Me. . . *blink*  Ummmm?  What?
Her:  Aquafina.  I didn't know they made mint-flavored water.
Me:  Oh... I don't think they do.  I think just the lip balm is mint-flavored.
Her:  Oh.  I wonder if there's lemon-flavored water.  That would be good.
Me:  Hmmm, ok, have a good night!

Aaaaaand scene.

I hope she enjoys working at MethMart and more importantly, I hope MethMart enjoys her, because she's probably not going to be receiving multiple offers of employment on a regular basis...


Pinky McLadybits said...

Aw, she's so stupid. You probably could've just walked out with your preshhhhusssss and she wouldn't have noticed.

TK said...

You're buying lip balm made by a Pepsi-owned bottled water company, and she's the idiot?

I'm kidding. That broad is fucking retarded and you should have sterilized her before it's too late.

DeistBrawler said...

She's going to have babies. Lots and lots of babies.

Lainey said...

Pinky - Soo stupid. So, so stupid.

TK - If Dasani (that's Coke-owned, right?) made a lip balm, you can bet your ass I'd be all over it. I have an addiction, sir!

DB - And they will probably work at my company one day.