This happened today.
Dad: What do you want for your birthday?Me: Nothing really, thanks.
Dad: You must want something. I don't know what to get you.
Me: Well, I don't really need anything, but thanks for thinking of me!
Dad: Oh come on - what's just one thing that you want?
Me: Hmmm, ok, well, I could use some shears to trim flower stems.
Me: I like arranging flowers and they need to be cut, but I only have scissors and I end up crushing their stems and killing them.
Dad: I'm pretty sure I have something like that in the garage or the basement closet or something. Just go look through there.
Me: Ok then.... Hmm, I would LOVE to have an Amazon giftcard!
Dad: Where would I get that?
Me: Probably at the grocery store or wherever they sell giftcards.
Dad: Why don't I just give you money and then you can buy your own giftcard?
Me: *sigh* It's fine. I really don't need anything. I was just giving you some suggestions, but I really don't need anything.
Dad: How about a fur coat?
Me: WHAT the what?
Dad: I saw these really pretty fur coats the other day - fox, I think, how about one of those?
Dad: Would you rather have something besides fox? Like chinchilla or something?
Me: ... Um, do you remember when you gave me that fur stole and I was too squicked out to touch it?
Dad: Yeah, but what if the animals died a NATURAL death, then would that be ok?
Me: You mean like if 20 foxes just all died of old age and then someone gathered them up and SKINNED THEIR CORPSES to make me a coat, would that be ok?
Dad: Gahd, you're so dramatic. No, what if they all died in an earthquake or something?
Me: Ok, I'm gonna' go...
Phone rings 20 seconds later -
Dad: Do you want one of those camera things you put on the back of your car, so you can see when you're backing up?Me: ...