Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Conversations With My Father Pt. 2



This happened today.

Dad:  What do you want for your birthday?
Me:    Nothing really, thanks.
Dad:  You must want something.  I don't know what to get you.
Me:   Well, I don't really need anything, but thanks for thinking of me!
Dad:   Oh come on - what's just one thing that you want?
Me:    Hmmm, ok, well, I could use some shears to trim flower stems.  
Dad:   Why?
Me:    I like arranging flowers and they need to be cut, but I only have scissors and I end up crushing their stems and killing them.
Dad:  I'm pretty sure I have something like that in the garage or the basement closet or something.  Just go look through there.
Me:  Ok then.... Hmm, I would LOVE to have an Amazon giftcard!
Dad:  Where would I get that?
Me:   Probably at the grocery store or wherever they sell giftcards.
Dad:  Why don't I just give you money and then you can buy your own giftcard?
Me:  *sigh*  It's fine.  I really don't need anything.  I was just giving you some suggestions, but I really don't need anything.
Dad:  How about a fur coat?
Me:   WHAT the what?
Dad:  I saw these really pretty fur coats the other day - fox, I think, how about one of those?
Me:    ...
Dad:   Would you rather have something besides fox?  Like chinchilla or something?
Me:  ...  Um, do you remember when you gave me that fur stole and I was too squicked out to touch it?
Dad:  Yeah, but what if the animals died a NATURAL death, then would that be ok?
Me:   You mean like if 20 foxes just all died of old age and then someone gathered them up and SKINNED THEIR CORPSES to make me a coat, would that be ok?
Dad:  Gahd, you're so dramatic.  No, what if they all died in an earthquake or something?
Me:   Ok, I'm gonna' go...

Phone rings 20 seconds later -

Dad:  Do you want one of those camera things you put on the back of your car, so you can see when you're backing up?
Me:   ...

7 comments:

tamatha said...

Oh my god! I love this story! More please.

The Management said...

So...all the furriers are in Haiti cashing in? That's immoral.

Cindy said...

It's official: I love your Dad.

These conversation stories are the best.

brite said...

Awwww your Dad sounds so sweet. And my Mom had that exact coat that's in the picture...maybe the scarf and most definitely the lipstick!

Nicolae said...

Aww. It's sweet that he tries.

Lainey said...

Thanks, guys - I'll tell him he has a fan club!

Kate said...

-much giggling-

Kate x