Conversations With My Father Pt. 2

This happened today.

Dad:  What do you want for your birthday?

Me:    Nothing really, thanks.

Dad:  You must want something.  I don't know what to get you.

Me:   Well, I don't really need anything, but thanks for thinking of me!

Dad:   Oh come on - what's just one thing that you want?

Me:    Hmmm, ok, well, I could use some shears to trim flower stems.  

Dad:   Why?

Me:    I like arranging flowers and they need to be cut, but I only have scissors and I end up crushing their stems and killing them.

Dad:  I'm pretty sure I have something like that in the garage or the basement closet or something.  Just go look through there.

Me:  Ok then.... Hmm, I would LOVE to have an Amazon giftcard!

Dad:  Where would I get that?

Me:   Probably at the grocery store or wherever they sell giftcards.

Dad:  Why don't I just give you money and then you can buy your own giftcard?

Me:  *sigh*  It's fine.  I really don't need anything.  I was just giving you some suggestions, but I really don't need anything.

Dad:  How about a fur coat?

Me:   WHAT the what?

Dad:  I saw these really pretty fur coats the other day - fox, I think, how about one of those?

Me:    ...

Dad:   Would you rather have something besides fox?  Like chinchilla or something?

Me:  ...  Um, do you remember when you gave me that fur stole and I was too squicked out to touch it?

Dad:  Yeah, but what if the animals died a NATURAL death, then would that be ok?

Me:   You mean like if 20 foxes just all died of old age and then someone gathered them up and SKINNED THEIR CORPSES to make me a coat, would that be ok?

Dad:  Gahd, you're so dramatic.  No, what if they all died in an earthquake or something?

Me:   Ok, I'm gonna' go...

Phone rings 20 seconds later -

Dad:  Do you want one of those camera things you put on the back of your car, so you can see when you're backing up?

Me:   ...