I Am a Thieving Thief

I copied this entry idea from my delightful friend A Lover and a Fighter over at Hobocamp, because A) I adore her and everything she does and B) because I have nothing to write about and I feel like a big ol' lazy lazyass and need to write something soon before you all go away and find BETTER boring people to read about.


Things You'll Never Hear Me Say:

• Pie is not suitable for dinner.
• I can't wait to dust!
• Please get me LOTS of ketchup packets and make SURE they put extra mustard on it!
• Hyperbole is stupid.
• I plan to be the first in line for this new technology.
• I beat Meg at a game of Scrabble. 
• $10 is not too much to spend on lip balm.
• There's nothing worth watching on tv, so I'm just going to do something productive instead.
• Being in "The Friend Zone" is just as good.  
• I am very graceful and have superior balance.
• No, I don't have to pee.
• I don't need anything from Sephora.
• My job is fulfilling and makes me feel good about my life choices.
• Oh, happy day, these pants fit perfectly & I won't need to wear heels with them or have them hemmed!
• I'm too thin and tan.

 Things I Never Thought I Would Say & Yet Have Said:

• My mp3 player needs more memory.
• Quitting smoking was actually pretty easy.
• I like my freckles.
• Coke Zero is delicious!
• Pine nuts are of THE DEVIL.
• The problem with kids today...
• I've met some of my closest friends and favorite people over the internet.
• I'm going to be FORTY in a month.
• Brussel sprouts are tasty.
• I don't know if I could live without Facebook.
• I kind of like living in Ohio. (mostly)
• According to Google Reader, 45 people read this nonsense.

What about you?  What's something you'll never say and something you never thought you'd say?