Dad: I bought you some eggs.Me: Oh, um, thanks?
Dad: From the bar.
Me: You bought me eggs at a bar? What? Are they pickled or something?
Dad: No. God. From the Farley's farm. They have chickens.Me: Oh, ok, well now that you've cleared that up...
Dad: And I got you some of that pepper cheese you like.Me: Do they have cows, too?
Dad: What? Who said anything about cows? *Chickens*.Me: I know, chickens make eggs, but cows make cheese. Well, they don't MAKE cheese, but, you know.
Dad: What the hell are you talking about?Me: Right. I'm the crazy one.
Dad: Oh, no, the cheese is from Sam the Amish Cheese guy.Me: There's an Amish guy who sells cheese in the bar? Does he drive his buggy into the city?
Dad: Dammit, Lainey! No, Sam's not Amish, he sells Amish cheese.Me: Ok, well that was unclear. You said "Sam, the AMISH cheese guy", not "Sam, the Amish CHEESE guy".
Dad: What?Me: The emphasis would be different.
Dad: I didn't emphasize anything - YOU did.Me: I know, I just... never mind. Thank you.
Phone rings 20 seconds later...
Dad: They also have goats.Me: WHAT?
Dad: The Farleys. Chickens and goats, but they don't have goat cheese. Do you want me to ask Sam, the Amish CHEESE guy if they have goat cheese?Me: No, I don't like goat cheese, but thanks.
Dad: Then why did you ask about goats?Me: WHAT? I didn't say anything about goats - YOU did.
Dad: I don't think that's true, but if you say so. Why would you lie about goats?Me: I ... do you TRY to make my head hurt?
PS: I was trying to find an appropriate photo to accompany this post, but INSTEAD I found Pygmy goats and OHMYGOD, now I want a Pygmy goat more than anything! Look how cute they are.