So, I'll get on that this week, but I have to make sure I leave time for the following conversations that I have daily: (I'm not making any of these up.)
Employee #1 - I don't know what to do anymore. The co-worker in the next cube over eats chips and salsa every afternoon and the smell is killing me. Can you make her stop or move my desk?
Employee #2 - My co-worker hums. It's really annoying and I can't take it anymore. Also, she chews gum pretty loud. Can you please send out an email telling people to be respectful of the people around them?
Employee #3 - Someone is wearing really strong perfume or lotion and it's giving me a headache. Can you please send out a reminder email that people shouldn't wear strong scents because some people are sensitive and have allergies? (By the way, we send this out at least 5 times a year and we cover it EXTENSIVELY in New Hire Orientation. It doesn't work.)
Employee #4 - My co-worker made fun of me today because I'd never heard of putting sour cream on jojos. My grandmother is dying and I don't appreciate being made fun of. Can you please move her to another department or tell her she can only talk to me about work-related things?
Employee #5 - Why do the heavier employees get to wear leggings/stretch pants if the rest of us can't? I don't think it's fair. They have stores for bigger people, why can't they get clothes that fit them when we're expected to adhere to the dress code?
Employee #6 - I need copies of my paystubs for the last 12 months. (Me: did you save any of them?) I have most of them at home, but they're not in any kind of order and I'm missing some, but I don't know which ones and I need them today because I'm trying to get a loan. Can you just print them all out? (Without going into the system and individually opening 26 paystubs and reprinting them, no, I can't just print them all out.)
Employee #7 - (Anonymous note on my desk) Please make the supervisors stop calling employees "honey" or "sweetie". It's insulting and demeaning. It's unprofessional. They should be written-up.
Employee #8 - My supervisor has cankles and someone needs to make her wear long pants instead of skirts because it makes me want to puke when I see her legs. (Ok, I *might* have made this one up, but it's not that far-fetched.)
Employee #9 - Someone stole my Pepsi out of the refrigerator. This is the 5th time this has happened. Can we set up a security camera? (Yes, we'll set up a camera for your $.60 soda.)
Employee #10 (my boss) - Ohmygod, did you watch "Two and a Half Men" last night? It is HILARIOUS! God, I love that show!
So, surely I'm not the only one with petty co-workers. What's the most ridiculous/silly/whiny/petty thing you've heard from your co-irkers or supervisor? Please help convince me that while my employees are "special", they aren't unique.