No, this isn't about how I'm gaining weight (although, if I keep buying caramel apples and banana cake & pretending they count as a fruit, then my ballooning weight might be the next entry), it's about me needing to "man up" and get through tomorrow morning and the next few weeks.
My office crush resigned. Yesterday, you'll remember, was No Whining Wednesday, so even though this happened at 10:00, I kept my mouth shut (except for a couple of strongly worded emails to Sarina) about it. It would be sad if he was just my crush, but he's more. In the last year, he's become my friend. He's one of the VERY few people I can talk to and in whom I can confide at work. I can be myself around him and not some robotic HR version of myself. And, I think, he can be himself around me. We camp out in each others offices when shit's going down and we've had it with the staff. On Friday afternoons, we eat chocolate and surf the internet shopping for Movado watches, (which, OMG, do I want one SOOOOO badly [wait, for real, is it 'badly' or 'bad'? Why can I never remember the rules for adverbs?] but yeah, I can't drop $800 on a watch, but ohhh, so shiny!) and bitch about the retarded decisions the senior executives are making. I can call him anytime and say, "Got a minute?" and if he's not in a meeting or on a conference call, he says, "Sure, come on up. Bring chocolate." Or he'll get finished with a particularly aggravating meeting and he'll come to my office, quietly close the door, sit down in the visitor chair and exclaim (in a loud whisper), "FUCKING IDIOT COCKSUCKERS" and then stand up, nod at me, smile and leave the room. We get each other. That's not easy in my position or in his because we always have to be on our best behavior and you never really know who you can trust & a lot of people in upper management are arrogant jerks. I've trusted him since the "Peanu(t)s" incident, I guess, and he's trusted me since the first time he lost his temper about an employee and dropped the F-Bomb and instead of looking shocked or admonishing him, I laughed.
So anyway, I've known about it since yesterday, but wasn't allowed to discuss it with anyone until today and that blew! So when the supervisor called me this morning at 9:03, crying , I started crying and it was just a big ol' crying thing, off and on, for most of the day. Because, in addition to being all kinds of adorable, he's good at his job and replacing him is going to SUH-HUCK and his supervisor is going to have to pick up the slack until a new director is hired and is up to speed. It's a lot of work.
The staff will be told tomorrow morning and I have to go sit there, stoicly, and be the "HR Presence" when it's announced and I can't cry or even register any emotion. My stupid, little, asshole heart is being ripped out right now because I will miss him so much. With him and Jackie both gone, I have no one at work that I can really talk to. No one I can be my obnoxious, snarky, sarcastic self with. I can't talk to anyone when my boss declares that she can't decide who she loves more: Nickelback or Creed...I mean COME ON, I need to be able to laugh with someone about that shit, right?
This was pretty long and rambling and it really boils down to me being a big, whiny, baby, but I needed to get it out. It's been eating at my insides and I thought maybe if I got it out, it would be easier to sit impassively at the meeting tomorrow. If you've read this far and haven't made the "L" for loser sign with your thumb and forefinger, you're a peach. Thanks for that!
So, in conclusion, do any of you know a cute guy with a Master's Degree in Finance who's looking for a job?