Thursday, September 10, 2009

Time to Put on My Big Girl Panties

No, this isn't about how I'm gaining weight (although, if I keep buying caramel apples and banana cake & pretending they count as a fruit, then my ballooning weight might be the next entry), it's about me needing to "man up" and get through tomorrow morning and the next few weeks.

My office crush resigned.  Yesterday, you'll remember, was No Whining Wednesday, so even though this happened at 10:00, I kept my mouth shut (except for a couple of strongly worded emails to Sarina) about it.  It would be sad if he was just my crush, but he's more.  In the last year, he's become my friend.  He's one of the VERY few people I can talk to and in whom I can confide at work.  I can be myself around him and not some robotic HR version of myself.  And, I think, he can be himself around me.  We camp out in each others offices when shit's going down and we've had it with the staff.  On Friday afternoons, we eat chocolate and surf the internet shopping for Movado watches, (which, OMG, do I want one SOOOOO badly [wait, for real, is it 'badly' or 'bad'?  Why can I never remember the rules for adverbs?] but yeah, I can't drop $800 on a watch, but ohhh, so shiny!) and bitch about the retarded decisions the senior executives are making.  I can call him anytime and say, "Got a minute?" and if he's not in a meeting or on a conference call, he says, "Sure, come on up.  Bring chocolate."  Or he'll get finished with a particularly aggravating meeting and he'll come to my office, quietly close the door, sit down in the visitor chair and exclaim (in a loud whisper), "FUCKING IDIOT COCKSUCKERS" and then stand up, nod at me, smile and leave the room.  We get each other.  That's not easy in my position or in his because we always have to be on our best behavior and you never really know who you can trust & a lot of people in upper management are arrogant jerks.  I've trusted him since the "Peanu(t)s" incident, I guess, and he's trusted me since the first time he lost his temper about an employee and dropped the F-Bomb and instead of looking shocked or admonishing him, I laughed. 

So anyway, I've known about it since yesterday, but wasn't allowed to discuss it with anyone until today and that blew!  So when the supervisor called me this morning at 9:03, crying , I started crying and it was just a big ol' crying thing, off and on, for most of the day.  Because, in addition to being all kinds of adorable, he's good at his job and replacing him is going to SUH-HUCK and his supervisor is going to have to pick up the slack until a new director is hired and is up to speed. It's a lot of work. 

The staff will be told tomorrow morning and I have to go sit there, stoicly, and be the "HR Presence" when it's announced and I can't cry or even register any emotion.  My stupid, little, asshole heart is being ripped out right now because I will miss him so much.  With him and Jackie both gone, I have no one at work that I can really talk to.  No one I can be my obnoxious, snarky, sarcastic self with.  I can't talk to anyone when my boss declares that she can't decide who she loves more: Nickelback or Creed...I mean COME ON, I need to be able to laugh with someone about that shit, right? 

This was pretty long and rambling and it really boils down to me being a big, whiny, baby, but I needed to get it out.  It's been eating at my insides and I thought maybe if I got it out, it would be easier to sit impassively at the meeting tomorrow.  If you've read this far and haven't made the "L" for loser sign with your thumb and forefinger, you're a peach.  Thanks for that!

So, in conclusion, do any of you know a cute guy with a Master's Degree in Finance who's looking for a job? 


The Management said...

Oh Bobainey, I hear you loud and clear. At my last position I had an assisstant that I could tell anything and vent to in a glorious string of profanity. Now, I have an assistant who goes to church and is more intersted in talking about crafts than cocksuckers. Alas the interwebs shall bear my fury.

replica said...

Nothing sucks worse than living a life of self editing. Losing kindred spirits can be so depressing, so I don't think you're whining (but GREAT JOB! for managing to wait until Tell All Thursday). Hope the newbie has some spark to him/her once they are able to unwind a bit.

Girl With Curious Hair said...

I'm sure you've mentioned this before somewhere and I'm just too senile to remember. Is he single? Because this can become something awesome. I'm sorry your friend is going away and that you have to be so professional and calm about it. I send you a big hug from afar.

Anonymous said...

Ohh, that really does suck. At my last job I had a kindred spirit. He was the video editor and I was the phone girl/report editor/bullshit clerical. And the other clerical people were CRAZY (so were the people we worked for) and we always volunteered to go pick up lunch so we could just get away in the car and de-stress.
He was the Jim to my Pam, with only half the sexual tension. I adored him and he's the only thing I miss about that job. Plus, he took his kids to get mohawks on the last day of school each year. It was great.

Sarah said...

My sweet Lainey, I done told you, the poor man was forced to resign. He can no longer control the simmering fire of his passion for you, nor can he manage the pain of quietly lusting after you from afar. You make him suffer so, with your cruel beauty. And also because you iz sessy. Sooooooo sessy.

Kellie will come to forever regret adding "sessy" to my lexicon. She really should've foreseen that it would only end in disaster.

Spender said...

Damn, Bobainey... I'm sorry for you. In radio, the turnover is fairly high but there were those that I grew close with and considered friends. Whenever they left, it was always like losing a family member.
I do agree with The Girl With Curious Hair - If the dude is single, stay in touch, have lunch, go out for drinks, y'know, just to catch up n' stuff.
And, yes, we want the dirty details!
Feel better, Lainey, you'refriends are with you.

Deistbrawler said...

This may come out bad...but just from what you've told me...are you sure he's I'm just asking. Because I don't know too many guys that would say, "bring chocolate."

meaux said...

Oh Lainey, I'm so sorry. My long-distance "office buddy" has been particularly supportive lately (as in, he listens to me whine when I've had a bad day, and cracks jokes masterfully to cheer me up), and the thought of him ever leaving the company makes me sad.

You should definitely keep in touch with the guy; there's nothing like a little witty email repartee to spice up your day! The loss of the daily eye candy is pretty tragic, though.

Lainey said...

You all are far kinder to me than I deserve! Thank you for understanding.

I should clarify - he's not single. He's quite married and has two adorable little kids. So yeah...that's not going any further.

When I originally wrote this, I explained the chocolate comment, but I deleted it because it seemed extraneous. I always have a stash of dark chocolate in my office. When he comes by, I give him a piece. I joke that he only talks to me because I give him candy, so whenever I call him to bs or vent, he tells me to bring chocolate as payment. It's silly, but amuses us.

Thanks again and it's nice to know that other people have the same attachments to their work buddies and losing one really is a big deal.

cindy said...

Maybe you can transfer 13 to his position? Voila! You're rid of her!

Seriously, I'm sorry your losing your friend.

Now, onto other things. Where is the SEX STORY???

Snuggiepants said...

Sarah, I am not at ALL sorry I gave you the sessy. It's a great word.

Lainey, that hurt just reading it! Aughblegh, girlfriend! There's NOTHING worse than not having a friend at work. Well, maybe a raging yeast infection is worse. But I hope things get better....

Figgylicious said...

Oh that just SUCKS. Nothing worse than losing a friend at work. It makes everyone else a little annoying.

And I'm with Cindy. Cheer up by telling us about SEX STORY.