Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Wednesday, You Wily Wascal!

I took a vacation day on Monday, so my week is all jacked up. It's Wednesday already? Wow!

One of the side effects of this No Whining Wednesday EXTRAVAGANZA is that it makes me truly appreciative of the little things in my life. All of the things I take for granted; reliable car, friends I can count on, a good paying job, multiple lip balm options, etc. tend to get lost in the day-to-day grind of life. But equally important, it has also illustrated the incredible generosity of spirit in others. I'd really like to highlight those of you who are giving back and doing good things. You guys are my inspirations and when I'm feeling sorry for myself or am too lazy to take the trash out (it's THREE flights of stairs, ok??? Get off my back!), I think about you and the selfless & generous things you're doing and I feel like a lazy, whiny asshole. So, *obviously* I try not to think of you guys too much...

OnTheVirg is currently participating in a SEVEN HUNDRED mile bike ride to raise money and awareness for Hemophilia. SEVEN HUNDRED MILES. On a bike. I've mentioned this before and I mention it again, because, a) It's 700 freakin' miles! b) On a bike! Nice work, Virg. You're seriously impressive and I wish you lots of luck and I hope your ass doesn't become permanently numb.

Speaking of bike riding - The Falldownasaurus (™ Nicole), TK will be doing a charity bike ride to support lung cancer research and awareness in October. Provided he doesn't break a leg (or arm or front tooth or hip or um, really anything...) before then, I salute him! As a former pack-a-day smoker, I worry about my lungs and whether I've doomed myself to a future of emphysema or lung cancer. I'm thankful that people like TK are raising money to fight and prevent such an ugly disease. If you'd like to support him and donate, please click here. Good luck, TK. You're a good man.

Another cancer warrior is the kind and adorable Girl with Curious Hair. Such a funny and sweet girl, she's out there kicking Lymphoma's and Leukemia's ASSES! She's running with Team in Training to raise money to get rid of that fucking asshole Leukemia and she's doing it in memory of Alabama Pink. You can read her own lovely words here and if you are able to, you can donate here. Good luck, Girl and keep us updated on your training.

I've come across a new blog, via Twitter, that just excites me and makes me happy to know that there are such wonderful, caring and motivated people out there. It's called "It Starts with Us" (it's on my blogroll as Change the World!) and it's all about individuals doing small things (15 minutes a week) to affect the lives of others. This is the post that hooked me and now I look forward to the weekly projects and announcements. Check it out if you have a few minutes. You may find that you have a smile plastered to your face when you're finished.

So, now I want to hear (hear/read, whatever) about who or what inspires you. Who do you admire? What or who makes you smile? Feel free to pimp your pet project in the comments or to post links to your favorite charity or a story that had a positive influence on you.

Happy Wednesday!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Life: You're Doing it Wrong

So, here's a little entry that's not the SEX story I promised. I'll do it eventually, I swear!

Ok, so, Sarina and I were talking the other night about how flawed the interview process is. (*ahem* Please allow me to submit Exhibit 13...) We started talking about interview questions we've asked & have been asked when trying to get an applicant to open up & reveal their true personality. The weirdest, but maybe the best, interview question that was ever asked of me was:

If you were on the cover of any magazine, what magazine would it be and what would the headline read?

I don't remember what my answer was. I know I said the magazine would be "People", but I can't for the life of me remember what I said for the headline. I just remember PANICKING because I figured that they wanted to see if you'd say something like, "Time: Woman of the Year" or "Entrepreneur: 30 Millionaires Under 30" or something work-related and emphasizing my super work ethic, but of course, my brain is thinking, "Cat Fancy - How to Keep Your Fuzzy Buddy Happy!" or something equally retarded.

So, I ask you. If you were in an interview tomorrow and the question were posed to you, how would you answer it?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

NWW, Wheeeee!

Hey guys, yeah, I suck. I know. That may or may not have been part of the SEX story I promised you...

I'm finding that between Pajiba, Facebook, Twitter and here, I don't really have that much to say. My boss would find that SHOCKING because I always seem to have plenty of shit to say at work. I think she'd like to institute "No Talking Wednesday". Yeah, that's just not gonna' happen. But really, I just don't have much of anything to write about. If something fun or interesting or annoying happens, I usually put it on Facebook or Twitter and then if I put it here, it seems repetitious (ok, seriously? That's a really hard word to spell!) I'm having trouble coming up with stuff that isn't 400 pages long or just a rehash of my stupid boring days. *sigh* I have no idea why you guys keep coming back. Except for Anna von Beaverplatz. She keeps coming back to see if we're actually the same person. I'm fairly certain that we are. Did you guys read her real time review of The Lost Boys? Ok, go read it. I'll wait.

Speaking of von Beav - we're going to watch Fear Wednesday night. Again, I've published this all over my damn Facebook page, so everyone but Cindy (*ahem*, dude, just come over to the Dark Side. Life is SO much nicer once you just succumb to the Pajiba peer pressure) should have seen the news that we're watching it. I'm pretty excited to watch it because a) it's a REALLY crappy movie, but I love the hell out of it and b) even though he plays a total psycho, it's where my love for Marky Mark was cemented. I love his whispery/raspy voice with the heavy Boston accent. I never had an interest in him when he had his crappy "band" or even when he was a Calvin Klein underwear model. But, as an actor, I dig him. He's got the sexiness.

What else? Oh, Wednesday is my boss's birthday. I'm picking up lunch and bringing a card for everyone to sign. I asked Thirteen if she would pick up a cake or cupcakes. She goes, "Yeah sure. I'll just bring some cookies or something." NO, DUMBASS. CAKE! Whatever. She's really lucky I haven't run over her in the parking lot yet.

I *will* post the SEX story at some point, but I haven't decided yet how much to share & I can't decide if it's even interesting to anyone but me. We'll see. I WILL tell you this though - did you know Amazon.com sells sex toys? Well, they do! Doesn't matter how I know, just say, "thanks for the valuable info, Lainey". You're welcome!

So, you guys up for another round of No Whining Wednesday? Are you still into it? I am! I can't believe the effect it has on my mood. It's amazing the difference I feel when I know that I don't necessarily have to be Suzy Sunshine, but I also know that I can't be Debbie Downer. That second of checking myself before I automatically bitch about something or the energy I redirect from whining to finding something positive in the situation. It really puts me in a better mood from the moment I wake up. Does it do that for you too or are you all just humoring me? I hope it's doing something for each of you. Even if it's just for a couple of minutes a week. Your comments and positive energy are like a drug for me and I look forward to Wednesdays now. Thanks for that!

And now that I've babbled on and on, Happy No Whining Wednesday! Gimme my fix!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


No Whining Wednesday is here AGAIN (Jesus, Wednesdays, what's your hurry and why are you so damn hard to spell? You're like stupid February. What's up with all the extra letters?). Work is kicking my ass and it's taking up most of my attention, which unless I get a promotion and a big ol' honkin' raise, sucks.

I've been trying new things lately; nothing big, just stupid little things here and there. Every time I've gone to the grocery store over the last couple of weeks, I've bought myself fresh flowers and arranged them and turns out, it's kind of relaxing and quite enjoyable to look over at them periodically. I think I'll keep this up! I'm also going to try scallops. Based on Doran and Liz's recommendation, I bought some today and will saute those bad boys up tomorrow night. I cleaned the hell out of my apartment this past weekend and I can't even tell you how much I love Nemo. I just feel like I'm doubling my efforts without doing anything. IT'S SO COOL! What else? Angel-ica and I are getting food Friday and are going to play Wii and laugh and laugh. Angie's laugh is so boisterous and awesome, I defy anyone not to be in a better mood when she's around. Even if she's pissed off, she's still able to laugh.

Speaking of laughing, I am boring the living crap out of myself with this here fancy blog! I have nothing funny or even interesting going on because I'm boring and because stupid work expects me to work, which is really pretty assholey of it when you think about it. Later this week I'll post something about SEX, so you better stick around. There'll be SEX talk and you don't want to miss out on the SEXY SEX! That'll bring you back, right?

So, what good, different or fun things are going on in your lives? Are you up for No Whining Wednesday?

PS: Don't forget the SEX coming later this week...

This is the best I could grab today. It's pretty cute actually. Enjoy and have a great day!


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Wooosh! Wednesday Already?

I'm starting to think there's some weird time/space thing going on because DAMN, wasn't it *just* Wednesday? Ok, you know what that means. Hey, I have an idea, I'll go first!

As mentioned before, I bought a Roomba, robot vacuum. I've named him Nemo McSuckerbutt. He has a wee, semi-useless (but lucky!) fin jutting out from his side, so "Nemo" seemed a good name. McSuckerbutt, yeah, I don't really have an answer for that. It just popped into my brain and decided to stick there. I'll probably just call it Nemo. Anyway, my point is, I love him! He's vacuuming my kitchen RIGHT NOW! I swear to God, it's like living with the Jetsons.

Also, I took some of your advice and a smidge of my own and I made some plans. Nothing big, nothing fancy, just plans to be NOT in my house. Well, kinda' to be in my house, but to be in my house with OTHER PEOPLE, so that's progress, right? I emailed a couple of Human Resources ladies that I've met at various HR-related shindigs and asked them if they wanted to meet for drinks and to trade war stories and they said yes! We met tonight for a couple of hours and chatted about really boring HR crap, but it wasn't boring to us, it was pretty entertaining. It helped all of us to know that people act like fucking morons everywhere and it's not just our employees and we each took away a couple of ideas for morale building. In fact, I told them about No Whining Wednesday and they're taking it back to their offices to spread the positive vibes! Also, I called my friend Angelica and we made plans to go get dinner next Friday and then come back to my house & watch "The Soup" and play some Wii Sports Resort. Baby steps, baby steps...

Ok, I have to go rehearse a 2-hour, 180-page, idiotic Sexual Harassment and Workplace Violence Prevention presentation for tomorrow. I promise to do my level best to maintain the integrity of No Whining Wednesday, but I may slip into Sorta' Whining Wednesday since I have to go in an hour early AND I have to stand up in front of a group for 2 hours AND not be an asshole while I'm doing it. That's an awful lot!

I hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday and I'm looking forward to reading all about it! If you're looking for inspiration, check out Be The Change. The links will make your heart smile!

Monday, August 3, 2009

How NOT To Write A Cover Letter - Pt. 2

Remember this? Ok, this one isn't as fantastically awesome as that, but it's still pretty good. And it's Monday. This is the best I can do today. It's exactly as I received it. Oh and the open position is for a Medical Biller & Coder, not that it really matters.

Welcome to my life!

“There are those who look at life and see things as they are. Then, there are those who look at life and see how things could be and ask the question: Why not?”

Robert F. Kennedy

I first want to thank you for your time and hopefully your consideration in me becoming a candidate for the position. I believe it is important first to promulgate the foundation of who I am not only in respect of applying for the position, but also in respect of you gaining a 3 dimensional view of who I am. Starting this process without having that view may leave it in vain.

First and foremost I am an artist trained in music to be specific. I began at age eleven and started classical training. The families of instruments I cover are strings and percussion. I write for all styles of music and all capacities as well. In writing for all various situations I truly believe I have gained a firm grasp on what is needed and what is not needed from an organizational standpoint as well from a leadership role. Working in music teaches you the most important aspects of leadership and work ethic. Values such as quality, efficiency, communication, passion for the work, team work and the most important value of all: humility. The grace in knowing you are wrong and admitting it in order to better the work. The art of conducting and band leading enunciates the value of leading by example and in turn that phrase becomes obligatory for the ones you are leading.

The next dimension of who I am is one of community service. I am a Secular Franciscan and the aspects of Franciscan teaching envelopes helping the sick and poor. I participate in food drives and go in the community and collect food for the poor as well as volunteering at ‘Little sisters of the poor’ retirement hospital with performing music and assisting with what ever they need. These actions give me a greater understanding of helping those who have less or those who need the most help.

In a leadership setting it is essential that no one should be, or feel left out or having feelings that they are not an important member of the team. With these aspects I would like to coagulate this resume into two sections. First music. Second other works. I would like to thank you once again for this opportunity to emancipate the aspects of who I am as a person and as well as my skills. The ability to create or drive or increase profitability for a company is as much an art as writing for a symphony or bringing life to a canvas. I hope that this introductory letter gives you what I hope will be the foundation of who I am for not knowing the root of an employee or for that matter a person can ultimately I believe lead to not knowing what the character of your staff will be.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Money Can't Buy Happiness...

But it can buy a shit-ton of other stuff!

I've been on a weird spending spree of late. I don't often spend a great deal of money at one time or on myself. This isn't to say I don't treat myself regularly or buy the best "whatever" that I can afford; I do. I make pretty good money and have no one other than myself on whom to spend it. Oh and that giant piggycat, but really, she's happy with the boxes that my stuff comes in, so I don't spend a lot on her.

Lately though, like within the last 2 to 3 weeks, I've been going NUTS buying shit. I've recently purchased 8 movies, 3 tv series, a robot vacuum (for the *truly* lazy), 5 pairs of shoes (because the 46 I already own are not enough. No, I'm not kidding. I really have 51 pairs of shoes now. All in their boxes, labeled and neatly stacked), hundreds thousands of dollars worth of new clothes, a knife holder shaped like a body (awesome find, Rusty, thanks!) and a new video game disc for a video game console I never use. WTF?

Obviously, I'm overcompensating for something lacking in my life. I'm trying to buy a life. I used to spend money on trips and nights out. I used to go to the movies and dinner and football games and local concerts. I used to do all of these things when I was with someone. Since I've been alone, I go home after work and turn on the tv and the computer. I watch movies I've seen before because I hate watching new movies alone. I have no one to talk about them with. (Yes, I ended a sentence in "with". Suck it.) I don't seem to really cook anymore because cooking for one is a chore and leaves me with entirely more food than I need. And I don't really go anywhere because suddenly, I've developed some weird agoraphobic tendencies that I never had before. I get freaked out and anxious if I go someplace new.

This is turning out WAY whinier than I intended. I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, I absolutely am not! In fact, what came to me was that it's time to STOP whining. To stop sitting around with a "woe is me" attitude and do something about it. I need to metaphorically and um, phorically? clean out my closet. Dump the shoes and clothes and memories that don't fit any longer. Clear out the clutter in my home and in my brain.

Some opportunities are coming up at work and maybe I need to go back to school? I also need to use the networking tools at my disposal and expand my business and personal connections. Maybe I need to try online dating while I'm at it? I don't know. What I *do* know is that I've let my life become stagnant and have embraced my inner-slacker too much. It's time to stop buying my life and instead make my life.

Any suggestions, tips or personal anecdotes you can share to help me get started?