*Not really if you're going by the actual definition of EXTRAVAGANZA.
So, 2010 is ending and I can't complain. I've had a pretty decent year. I lost (what I thought was) a good friend, but I've made a lot more. I've been remarkably healthy (did I just jinx the shit out of myself?) and so has my dad (I'm sure I just jinxed him). I got my apartment Extreme Makeover-ed, ok, not technically, but I did get nice new carpet, paint, windows, and furniture. Hell, I have HEATED STEPS up to my back porch, so yeah, that's awesome and nothing to sneeze at. I've met some Pajiban/Facebook friends this year. Maybe had sex with one or more of them. That was fun! And I tried a whole bunch of stuff I've never tried before (that's not related to the last sentence about sex). Turns out that macaroni and cheese is pretty damn good. WHO KNEW? Oh, right. Everyone. But, just for the record, I still haven't tried that fluorescent orange shit in the blue box and I don't intend to. I also tried a few fancy beers and it turns out that I kind of like them a little and would maybe want to try more. This coming from the girl who didn't like Bud Light because it "tastes too beerish".
What else? I got a new cat, because why not? He's chatty as hell and oppressively affectionate, but he's nice to have around since the other one only pays attention to me when she wants food. Willow hates him, but I think she'll warm up. She's too nosy to just ignore him, so I suspect he'll grow on her after a bit. Speaking of, Thirteen has become not only tolerable, but actually likable. I certainly didn't see that coming! Oh, and Coke Zero is still delicious, despite what CERTAIN people (*coughKolbycough*) say.
I never imagined that I'd be 40 and single and living in Ohio, it's not like it was my dream as a child, but turns out, it's not so bad. Just a few years ago, I couldn't imagine making enough money to live comfortably, having a career I'm good at (and mostly like, though I'll deny it), and enjoying my life. Enjoying my friends. Enjoying my comfort with myself. It's actually kind of neat.
So, I hope 2011 is as good or better for me than 2010 was and for my friends who had less delightful years, I hope 2011 kicks the shit out of 2010 for you!
Thanks for coming around year after year! Especially you folks who keep searching for "what's the opposite of exciting" and winding up here. You have NO idea how much that amuses me.
Cheers and Happy New Year!
Showing posts with label good news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label good news. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Out with the Old and in with the New (or OwtOaiwtN for those who prefer acronyms)
As you may have noticed (or not, I don't know how observant some of you are), I've not been around much lately. Here, Pajiba, and even Facebook, to a degree. Lots of stuff going on - some good, some bad, but all for the better, I think.
Oh, but first, I owe you an update on the sabotager (I'm sorry, but "saboteur" just sounds so snooty). After extensive observation from our IT department, we felt there was enough evidence to support the suspicion that she had been deliberately sabotaging her co-worker's reports and we fired her. She denied, denied, DENIED it and then accused IT of setting her up. Unemployment disagreed with us and despite PAGES of documentation, awarded her benefits because we didn't have definitive proof that she did it. I guess you have to actually videotape them doing it and then you probably have to prove that the video is actually of THEM and not some look-alike that you hired and then you probably have to send them DNA evidence, too. Whatever.
Moving on. Blogger has new templates and since I've made over my entire apartment in the last month, I decided to make over this here fancy blog, too. Let me know what you think. (Or, if you just want to make an assy comment, don't let me know what you think. I don't really have a lot of patience for assyness right now.) Back to the apartment! Those of you on Facebook are probably sick to death of hearing about the redecoration EXTRAVAGANZA, so feel free to skip ahead. To the rest - OMG, I TOTALLY got my apartment redid and it is SO exciting! I've lived here for 12 or 13 years and while I've always liked my apartment, I never LOVED it. I always liked its potential, but it never lived up to that potential because the landlord wouldn't put any money into it and I wouldn't either. The paint was old and cracked and yellowed, the carpet was a hideous barf color and really qualified more as a mat than a carpet, and the windows were just... rattley glass in hard to open frames. On my end, the furniture was all mismatched, over-sized crap I got from friends or bought a piece here or a piece there, and I had kind of given up on making it look nice, because no matter how much I cleaned (FINE, no matter how much the person I hired to clean cleaned) it still looked like a mishmash of clutter and dingy neglect. NOW, THOUGH? Sparkly and clean and pretty! New carpet and fresh paint in cheery yellow and ice blue, brand-spankin' new double-hung windows, which holy cow, I've never had new windows before and I *might* have a slight obsession with cleaning them (Ilovethemsomuch!), and new blinds that are being installed by my landlord as I type this. I bought a whole new living room and dining room set and a new bed, plus little extras like pictures, bookshelves, and a red microwave. How does the red microwave have any relevance? It DOESN'T. I just WANTED it, is that OK with YOU? Anyway, it's been a lot of work packing up and moving all of my crap & throwing out tons of junk, but it's all pretty and new now and I'm happy as can be! It even has that new carpet smell instead of old, dusty, years-of-smoking smell.
Balls. This is getting really long and I have a lot more to say, but I hate reading super long meandering blog posts, so I'm going to save it for PART 2: EXTRAVAGANZA SUPERSEXYNOVA OF SPARKLEBLAHBLAHBLAH. Or something.
Oh, ok, but real quick - I bought these fun trash bags because I had to cart like, I don't know, A MILLION bags of crap out before the carpet could be ripped out and replaced and I am nothing if not frivolous. How cute are these!? I KNOW, right?
Oh, but first, I owe you an update on the sabotager (I'm sorry, but "saboteur" just sounds so snooty). After extensive observation from our IT department, we felt there was enough evidence to support the suspicion that she had been deliberately sabotaging her co-worker's reports and we fired her. She denied, denied, DENIED it and then accused IT of setting her up. Unemployment disagreed with us and despite PAGES of documentation, awarded her benefits because we didn't have definitive proof that she did it. I guess you have to actually videotape them doing it and then you probably have to prove that the video is actually of THEM and not some look-alike that you hired and then you probably have to send them DNA evidence, too. Whatever.
Moving on. Blogger has new templates and since I've made over my entire apartment in the last month, I decided to make over this here fancy blog, too. Let me know what you think. (Or, if you just want to make an assy comment, don't let me know what you think. I don't really have a lot of patience for assyness right now.) Back to the apartment! Those of you on Facebook are probably sick to death of hearing about the redecoration EXTRAVAGANZA, so feel free to skip ahead. To the rest - OMG, I TOTALLY got my apartment redid and it is SO exciting! I've lived here for 12 or 13 years and while I've always liked my apartment, I never LOVED it. I always liked its potential, but it never lived up to that potential because the landlord wouldn't put any money into it and I wouldn't either. The paint was old and cracked and yellowed, the carpet was a hideous barf color and really qualified more as a mat than a carpet, and the windows were just... rattley glass in hard to open frames. On my end, the furniture was all mismatched, over-sized crap I got from friends or bought a piece here or a piece there, and I had kind of given up on making it look nice, because no matter how much I cleaned (FINE, no matter how much the person I hired to clean cleaned) it still looked like a mishmash of clutter and dingy neglect. NOW, THOUGH? Sparkly and clean and pretty! New carpet and fresh paint in cheery yellow and ice blue, brand-spankin' new double-hung windows, which holy cow, I've never had new windows before and I *might* have a slight obsession with cleaning them (Ilovethemsomuch!), and new blinds that are being installed by my landlord as I type this. I bought a whole new living room and dining room set and a new bed, plus little extras like pictures, bookshelves, and a red microwave. How does the red microwave have any relevance? It DOESN'T. I just WANTED it, is that OK with YOU? Anyway, it's been a lot of work packing up and moving all of my crap & throwing out tons of junk, but it's all pretty and new now and I'm happy as can be! It even has that new carpet smell instead of old, dusty, years-of-smoking smell.
Balls. This is getting really long and I have a lot more to say, but I hate reading super long meandering blog posts, so I'm going to save it for PART 2: EXTRAVAGANZA SUPERSEXYNOVA OF SPARKLEBLAHBLAHBLAH. Or something.
Oh, ok, but real quick - I bought these fun trash bags because I had to cart like, I don't know, A MILLION bags of crap out before the carpet could be ripped out and replaced and I am nothing if not frivolous. How cute are these!? I KNOW, right?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Lost. LOST. LOOOOSSST. L.O.S.T. Lost!
LOST is back tonight and I think it's fair to say that I'm pretty freakin' excited about it! There have been many awesome things associated with LOST, but the link below is my FAVORIST ever! It auto-plays and there's sound, so if you're at work, beware.
Seriously, I could watch this over and over and over. It's like 3 years old and I've seen it 40 times and I STILL LOVE it.
Enjoy!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Quick and Dirty
Quick and dirty and short and sweet - I'll let you make your own joke.
Ok, so, even though Cindy's on vacation and isn't around to nag me about my blog, I feel obligated to post something anyway.
It's like seconds away from being Wednesday, so I'm not really allowed to whine about how MEG keeps kicking my ass in Scrabble and making me wonder why I continue to play with her and I'm not really allowed to whine about how that boy's flight got canceled last weekend, so we didn't get to make the kissy faces at each other. INSTEAD, I'm going to focus on how I WON a game of Scrabble (not against that damn Meg though!) and how that boy's flight got rescheduled for this weekend, so I'll get to make kissy faces in THREE days!
Yeah, so if I can just get through the next 3 days (AGAIN), things will be good.
Here are a few more of those calendar things (holy BALLS, thank god for that damn calendar so I don't have to think!)
- Meatballs
- Barbie doll hair (Seriously, it says this)
- The smell of popcorn (Ok, but not the microwave kind. Sometimes it smells VILE.)
- Whimsical toothbrushes (Is this a thing?)
- Having pizzazz (Oh man, I love that word! Could you even have that word in Scrabble?)
- High ceilings (Unless you have to paint them)
- A hemidemisemiquaver note (Anyone?)
- Toasted and buttered English muffins (Mmmm, with blackberry jam!)
Happy No Whining Wednesday!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Extra Whinyless No Whining Wednesday
Today's No Whining Wednesday post is going to shock you! You should probably make sure you're sitting down. If you have a nervous condition or startle easily, you may not want to read this. Are you ready? Are you SURE? Ok, don't say I didn't warn you...
Thirteen is being helpful and is only barely getting on my nerves.
I know, right?? None of you saw THAT coming, did you? Me either! I don't know if she changed medications or has just finally settled into the job and relaxed a bit or if I've finally gotten used to her, but I've noticed that the last few weeks (I don't know how long it's been - I have no concept of time) she really doesn't seem to bother me. She asks questions still, but not stupid questions and she doesn't babble about Robert Pattinson or fucking Twilight, so there's a huge improvement right there. Plus, you can ask her to do anything and she'll just do it. It's awesome! She doesn't question it or complain, she just does it. It's so cool! We're working on a giant, icky project our boss gave us and she whined a bit about how stupid it is (and she's not wrong!), but she buckled down and did it and didn't bug me once. I'm gonna' give her a sticker tomorrow if she keeps up the SUPER attitude!
So, yeah, that's pretty noteworthy, right? Hmm, what else is going on? Not much. Life in 2010 is pretty much like 2009. I still have my Christmas tree up, which really shouldn't surprise anyone. Um, what else? I've been watching "The Wire" and it's good, but I'm not blown away. Uhhhh, what else...
Oh , here's some more of those things to be happy about from that calendar:
What's going on with you? Did you have a good New Year's Eve? Has your 2010 been good so far?
Happy No Whining Wednesday!
Thirteen is being helpful and is only barely getting on my nerves.
I know, right?? None of you saw THAT coming, did you? Me either! I don't know if she changed medications or has just finally settled into the job and relaxed a bit or if I've finally gotten used to her, but I've noticed that the last few weeks (I don't know how long it's been - I have no concept of time) she really doesn't seem to bother me. She asks questions still, but not stupid questions and she doesn't babble about Robert Pattinson or fucking Twilight, so there's a huge improvement right there. Plus, you can ask her to do anything and she'll just do it. It's awesome! She doesn't question it or complain, she just does it. It's so cool! We're working on a giant, icky project our boss gave us and she whined a bit about how stupid it is (and she's not wrong!), but she buckled down and did it and didn't bug me once. I'm gonna' give her a sticker tomorrow if she keeps up the SUPER attitude!
So, yeah, that's pretty noteworthy, right? Hmm, what else is going on? Not much. Life in 2010 is pretty much like 2009. I still have my Christmas tree up, which really shouldn't surprise anyone. Um, what else? I've been watching "The Wire" and it's good, but I'm not blown away. Uhhhh, what else...
Oh , here's some more of those things to be happy about from that calendar:
- Picnics around the fireplace
- Using chopsticks
- Chocolate fondue
- Commonsense folk sayings
- Sea monkeys
- Pockets of tranquility (which I originally read as "tranquilizers" - I like mine better.)
- A terrific hair day
- Lyrics sung incorrectly
- A glassed-in sun porch (which I think some people call a "Florida Room" - how cute is *that*?)
- Short naps
What's going on with you? Did you have a good New Year's Eve? Has your 2010 been good so far?
Happy No Whining Wednesday!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sometimes Laziness DOES Pay!
First - Everything about Paheeba Day was incredible! Thank you, you amazing, delightful, lovely ladies of Pajiba! Thanks for all of your planning and writing and editing and Photoshopping and general awesomeness. I feel privileged to be among your members.
Second - I was a giant, whiny baby on Monday. GIANT. So giant, in fact, that I actually *cried* in front of my boss. My boss and I are also friends, so this isn't as tragic as it could have been, but still - come ON, we mock people who cry at work! In the past couple of months, 7 of my friends have entered into relationships (some with each other, which is just about the cutest thing EVER) and I'm definitely happy for them. However, my stupid girl-self also spent some time in the Bitter Barn feeling sorry for myself and lamenting my lack of a love life. On Monday morning, my boss greeted me and said, "Hey, you look sad; what's up?" and then you know how when someone's nice to you it just makes you cry like a girl? Yeah, so that happened. At the end of my little Pity Party, she said, "I know you know this. I KNOW you know this, but Lainey, no one's just gonna' just show up & knock on your door. You have to get out there and make yourself available to meet people. It's not just going to happen by sitting in your jammie pants and watching teevee."
Oh realllllllly?
So, Angel-ica sends me a text Monday afternoon, "Hey, would you be interested in going out with a 28-year-old guy"? WhutWhut?
I wrote her back and we played text tag for a few minutes until I got irritated as crap with that (GOD, I hate extended texting, unless it's of the dirty, sessy variety) and called her. Her husband, M, works with a guy who said to him, "I'd just like to meet a nice, funny, cute, kinda' nerdy girl who's independent, kind of a homebody, has some meat on her bones and a brain in her head." and M exclaimed, "I KNOW THAT GIRL!" I told Angie that I'm not a nerd though and then she laughed and laughed...
Angie said that her husband was SO excited that he'd actually already emailed my picture to the boy and they were planning our first meeting/date. I *jokingly* asked if he would mind if I showed up in my jammiepants and Angie shrieked, "Ohmygod, yes! Yes, let's do that!" So now, the 4 of us are going to get together at the boy's house, in our jammies, and watch movies, eat Mexican take-out, and play with the Wii. I think it sounds like a lot of fun and even if it's not a love connection, it'll be good to have some interaction with a guy who isn't my dad or the janitor at my office.
Third - Speaking of sitting on my ass and doing nothing - evidently that pays off at work, too! I got a promotion (well, technically I got a better title & more vacation time) and a raise today. Cool, right? I'm sure this will come back to bite me in the ass as it can really only mean that more work is coming and they're trying to butter me up to do it. Whatevs. Not like I was doing anything anyway.
Fourth - I started Weight Watchers again a couple of weeks ago. I've lost 5 pounds and while I'm aware that it isn't much, at least the scale is going down instead of up for the first time in a really long time. I'm freaking STARVING every afternoon around 4:30, so I need to find a way to deal with that, but otherwise, I'm doing pretty well and it's kind of fun to treat my daily points allotment as a scavenger hunt. Now I just need to get off my lazy ass and throw some exercise into the mix. Baby steps, baby steps...
Fifth - I tagged this with "waking up with things in your mouth" because it makes me laugh.
Sixth - I have to go to an Employment Law Review all afternoon on Friday, BUT, I get to go with my boss to Red Robin for lunch and I have been saving my extra Weight Watchers points this week so I can have a burger, fries and freckled lemonade. I'm way more excited about this than I should be.
Seventh - After this Friday, I will not be required to wear pants on Fridays until next January! Yeah, bitchez! Between Thanksgiving and New Years, I will have every Friday off work. Suh-fricken-weet!
Eighth - I don't have an eighth.
Ninth - My pajama date means I get to go shopping for new jammie pants - YAY for new jammie pants that actually serve a purpose for once!
Tenth - What do you squirrellybutts have going on this week?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Waaahhhhh....
My word, this week has flown. FLOWN, I say! It's time for No Whining Wednesday again already.
I found myself looking forward to it today when I started getting a tidge cranky and picking at the little things. It's been a rough few weeks at work and if I let myself, I can easily wallow in the crapitude and negativity. I'm looking at Wednesdays as a palate cleanser, you know? A good time to stop. Take a deep breath. Reevaluate things. Refocus my energy.
I definitely plan to add to it after work on Wednesday and I really hope to be able to get even MORE positivity (is that a real word?) from your comments, but here's my good stuff for now.
* It's been in the low-to-mid 70's (I have no idea what that is in Celsius. I think I have to do math to figure it out and that's just not gonna' happen) with nice breezes for most of July. It's so wonderful to be able to sleep with the windows open and not sweat to death. PLUS, I'm not a Josie Grossie, from the nasty heat and humidity, by the time I get from the parking lot to my office every day.
* I got "Coraline" in the mail on Monday and I'm so going to watch it after work. This pleases me to no end!
* Speaking of movies, the lovely and talented Anna von Beaverplatz and I had a virtual movie date. We watched "Galaxy Quest" and chatted online during it and it was SO much fun! We're going to do it again soon and I think we've selected the fanfreakingtastically AWESOME "Fear" with Mark Wahlberg (who I secretly love and I don't even care. Suck it.) and Reese Witherspoon. Anyone who wants to join us is more than welcome! OOOH AND? I drank a Pepsi Throwback while we watched. First, I can't remember the last time I drank a non-diet soda and secondly, NO clue the last time I had one with sugar instead of high fructose corn syrup, but it wasn't bad. It's kind of spicy tasting, which I was unprepared for, but not unpleasant at all... Sorry, that was kind of tangenty, wasn't it? I'm SORRY. I've had quite a bit of caffeine and sugar this evening and my thoughts aren't exactly linear!!! I might be a tiny bit excitable. (!!!!)
* And finally - Thirteen is still annoying as hell, BUT she checks her notes before she asks me questions AND she is starting to actually take some initiative and has been *helpful* a few times. Progress!
Ok guys, your turn. What's the good stuff in your lives? Hell, I'll settle for things that are making you less stabby today...
Sunday, July 19, 2009
If You're Happy & You Know It...
Clap your hands - *clap* *clap*
Hey, kids! 'Sup? I've been away from the intertubes a lot this weekend because I appear to have some sort of stomach MONSTER that wants to destroy me. Every time I thought about posting a status update on the Facebook or Twitter, I really thought about it for a long time. I didn't want to be that girl. The one who only posts negative or whiny info. So, I got an idea while I was trying to come up with positive content.
I'd like to institute "No Whining Wednesdays"!
On Wednesdays, I'm going to try my best to only post positive status updates, blog posts & tweets. I'm going to make it a point to focus on the good things, rather than the bad, and recognize the good things in others.
My theory is that if you don't automatically post any and every complaint that pops into your head, you're forced to be optimistic. Yeah, I realize it sounds jacked up to have to force yourself to be upbeat, but sometimes, you gotta' fake it 'til you make it, you know? It's not like I invented that cliche.
In addition to the positive updates, I'm going to also try to post a blog entry praising or highlighting the good deeds or success stories of others.
I'm sure I sound like a total Pollyanna and I have no idea how long this will last, but I hope you guys will want to play, too! It would tickle my tiny toes to know that a bunch of us (all 7 of you who read the nonsense I spew) are paying equal attention to the great things in our lives.
So, who's in? I swear if you sumbitches leave me hanging... Um, I mean - this is going to be SO MUCH FUN, right?
Hey, kids! 'Sup? I've been away from the intertubes a lot this weekend because I appear to have some sort of stomach MONSTER that wants to destroy me. Every time I thought about posting a status update on the Facebook or Twitter, I really thought about it for a long time. I didn't want to be that girl. The one who only posts negative or whiny info. So, I got an idea while I was trying to come up with positive content.
I'd like to institute "No Whining Wednesdays"!
On Wednesdays, I'm going to try my best to only post positive status updates, blog posts & tweets. I'm going to make it a point to focus on the good things, rather than the bad, and recognize the good things in others.
My theory is that if you don't automatically post any and every complaint that pops into your head, you're forced to be optimistic. Yeah, I realize it sounds jacked up to have to force yourself to be upbeat, but sometimes, you gotta' fake it 'til you make it, you know? It's not like I invented that cliche.
In addition to the positive updates, I'm going to also try to post a blog entry praising or highlighting the good deeds or success stories of others.
I'm sure I sound like a total Pollyanna and I have no idea how long this will last, but I hope you guys will want to play, too! It would tickle my tiny toes to know that a bunch of us (all 7 of you who read the nonsense I spew) are paying equal attention to the great things in our lives.
So, who's in? I swear if you sumbitches leave me hanging... Um, I mean - this is going to be SO MUCH FUN, right?
Monday, June 8, 2009
Scrantonicity
After interviewing every skinny, blonde, 22-year-old girl named Courtney/Lindsay/Casey/Bailey/Kelsy/etc., we have a new recruiter. YAY!!!
We hired a skinny, brunette 22-year-old with a name ending in "Y"!
In actuality, we only interviewed 13 people (plus another 5 or 6 on the phone) and the girl we hired was number 13. From here on out, I will refer to her as "Thirteen". Couple reasons for this.
First - I can't remember her damn name! Seriously, after the parade of perky "Y's", all of them blend together in my head and I keep referring to her by the wrong name.
Second - I used a fake name for Jackie, so it's only fair that I give her a pseudonym, too.
Third - She looks kind of like Olivia Wilde who plays, "Thirteen" on House. Yes, she's 22, smart, thin and beautiful. No, I don't hate her yet.
She was one of several qualified candidates. Everyone we talked to was smart and engaging and had some or most of the skills we were looking for. It was hard to narrow it down. None of them really won us over immediately like Jackie did and my boss and I were becoming discouraged. And then Thirteen came in for her interview.
She was, honestly, no better or worse than any of the others we had talked to. However, she commented on "The Office" calendar hanging on my bulletin board. She asked if I was a fan and I said that my boss and I love it. She smiled and said she liked it, too. We finished the interview and at the end she asked if I would like her LinkedIn address. I said, sure. She pulled a notepad out of her purse & wrote the address on it. Imprinted across the top of the note was:
That's what *she* said.
And that's how Thirteen became the new Jackie.
We hired a skinny, brunette 22-year-old with a name ending in "Y"!
In actuality, we only interviewed 13 people (plus another 5 or 6 on the phone) and the girl we hired was number 13. From here on out, I will refer to her as "Thirteen". Couple reasons for this.
First - I can't remember her damn name! Seriously, after the parade of perky "Y's", all of them blend together in my head and I keep referring to her by the wrong name.
Second - I used a fake name for Jackie, so it's only fair that I give her a pseudonym, too.
Third - She looks kind of like Olivia Wilde who plays, "Thirteen" on House. Yes, she's 22, smart, thin and beautiful. No, I don't hate her yet.
She was one of several qualified candidates. Everyone we talked to was smart and engaging and had some or most of the skills we were looking for. It was hard to narrow it down. None of them really won us over immediately like Jackie did and my boss and I were becoming discouraged. And then Thirteen came in for her interview.
She was, honestly, no better or worse than any of the others we had talked to. However, she commented on "The Office" calendar hanging on my bulletin board. She asked if I was a fan and I said that my boss and I love it. She smiled and said she liked it, too. We finished the interview and at the end she asked if I would like her LinkedIn address. I said, sure. She pulled a notepad out of her purse & wrote the address on it. Imprinted across the top of the note was:
That's what *she* said.
And that's how Thirteen became the new Jackie.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
It Turns Out I'm NOT Dying After All...
Ok, you guys, seriously, I've been a bit worried the last few days. For about 3 days now (this is the 4th day), I've had this horribly bitter taste in the back of my mouth after I eat or drink something. It's not there all the time, just when I'm eating and after I eat. At first I thought it was the new vitamins I was taking and I blew it off. The next morning though, my coffee tasted terribly bitter and I hadn't taken the vitamins yet. So, I was all, "hmmm, what's up with that?" Later, at work, I ate a container of yogurt. Well, that's not entirely true. I TRIED to eat the yogurt, but it was so freakin' nasty tasting I threw it away after 3 bites. I ate some blueberries instead. You should know, I love blueberries above all foods, with the possible exception of sweet potatoes, (FINE and ice cream. Shut-up, I'm pretending I'm healthy!) and they were disgusting and gross. I couldn't eat them. This made me super frowny because I LOVE them, but also because it's not blueberry season and those fuckers are expensive!
I'm trying to figure out why I have this awful taste in my mouth/throat and I made a comment to one of my hypochondriac co-workers. His reply - "Dude, sounds like you're having some liver problems." WHAT? What the fuckingwhatwhat? You're so not helpful!
And then, of course, now I'm all worried that I'm having some sort of liver problem. I keep looking in the mirror to see if my eyes are turning yellow or if my skin looks jaundiced. I'm not a doctor, but I've watched 'House' a lot, so I think I'm pretty qualified to make a diagnosis. Obviously.
Last night, I'm just going crazy because now ice cream tastes bad, too. HOW CAN THIS BE? Ice cream is a gift from the Godtopus; there's no way in hell it should ever taste bad. Unless you're dying. Now I'm getting concerned. Because first of all, I did A LOT of drugs in the 90's. It's entirely possible that I damaged my liver. But secondly and more importantly, if I'm dying, but ice cream and blueberries are going to taste bad up until my death, then fuck it, bring it on now. I'm not gonna' put up with that kind of asshattery nonsense until my inevitable demise. That's just crazy talk and I'm not a big enough trooper to go through that. I know my limitations.
Of course, I turned to the internet because you pretty much always want to self-diagnose major organ failure via the internet. So, I typed in the search words, "bitter taste in mouth when eating". The first few links to pop up -
Liver failure.
Super.
Brain tumor.
AWE-some.
Kidney disease.
Neato Bandito.
But wait, there was something else.
Bitter taste - pine nuts?
Hmmmm, interesting. I clicky the linky and there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of people all over the world describing what I'm experiencing and all of them have one thing in common - pine nuts. And guess what I've been eating on everything I can get my fat little hands on? Guess! Wow, you kids are super good at this game - you're right! Pine nuts. I've been eating them in my hummus, on pizza, in my pasta salad, mixed with other nuts, and a handful here and there on their own.
According to the other people who are also not dying of liver failure, a couple of days after eating pine nuts, they have a bitter/metallic taste in the back of their mouths, like a dissolving aspirin taste, which keeps appearing when they eat. Nothing seems to make it much better and sweet things seem to make it much worse. Some of them have reported it to their doctors and the doctors have never heard of it and there's only one published medical article about it. But, Wikipedia has something about it, so that's something, I guess. It doesn't happen to everyone and the only semi-common link is that a lot of the pine nuts are from China, but there's no definitive answer as to why. Why it only affects some people and why it only happens sometimes.
Anyway, evidently for another week or two I'll have this yummy taste, which is kind of similar to what it would taste like if you brushed your teeth and then followed it with a big ol' honkin' glass of cranberry juice. Mmm mmm, good, right?
I just thought you'd all be thrilled to know that I'm not actually dying and some pine nuts are evil.
I'm probably still going to keep trying ice cream. It's for SCIENCE, ok? Geez.
I'm trying to figure out why I have this awful taste in my mouth/throat and I made a comment to one of my hypochondriac co-workers. His reply - "Dude, sounds like you're having some liver problems." WHAT? What the fuckingwhatwhat? You're so not helpful!
And then, of course, now I'm all worried that I'm having some sort of liver problem. I keep looking in the mirror to see if my eyes are turning yellow or if my skin looks jaundiced. I'm not a doctor, but I've watched 'House' a lot, so I think I'm pretty qualified to make a diagnosis. Obviously.
Last night, I'm just going crazy because now ice cream tastes bad, too. HOW CAN THIS BE? Ice cream is a gift from the Godtopus; there's no way in hell it should ever taste bad. Unless you're dying. Now I'm getting concerned. Because first of all, I did A LOT of drugs in the 90's. It's entirely possible that I damaged my liver. But secondly and more importantly, if I'm dying, but ice cream and blueberries are going to taste bad up until my death, then fuck it, bring it on now. I'm not gonna' put up with that kind of asshattery nonsense until my inevitable demise. That's just crazy talk and I'm not a big enough trooper to go through that. I know my limitations.
Of course, I turned to the internet because you pretty much always want to self-diagnose major organ failure via the internet. So, I typed in the search words, "bitter taste in mouth when eating". The first few links to pop up -
Liver failure.
Super.
Brain tumor.
AWE-some.
Kidney disease.
Neato Bandito.
But wait, there was something else.
Bitter taste - pine nuts?
Hmmmm, interesting. I clicky the linky and there are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of people all over the world describing what I'm experiencing and all of them have one thing in common - pine nuts. And guess what I've been eating on everything I can get my fat little hands on? Guess! Wow, you kids are super good at this game - you're right! Pine nuts. I've been eating them in my hummus, on pizza, in my pasta salad, mixed with other nuts, and a handful here and there on their own.
According to the other people who are also not dying of liver failure, a couple of days after eating pine nuts, they have a bitter/metallic taste in the back of their mouths, like a dissolving aspirin taste, which keeps appearing when they eat. Nothing seems to make it much better and sweet things seem to make it much worse. Some of them have reported it to their doctors and the doctors have never heard of it and there's only one published medical article about it. But, Wikipedia has something about it, so that's something, I guess. It doesn't happen to everyone and the only semi-common link is that a lot of the pine nuts are from China, but there's no definitive answer as to why. Why it only affects some people and why it only happens sometimes.
Anyway, evidently for another week or two I'll have this yummy taste, which is kind of similar to what it would taste like if you brushed your teeth and then followed it with a big ol' honkin' glass of cranberry juice. Mmm mmm, good, right?
I just thought you'd all be thrilled to know that I'm not actually dying and some pine nuts are evil.
I'm probably still going to keep trying ice cream. It's for SCIENCE, ok? Geez.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Tell Me Good News, Man...
There was a time not very long ago when my boss and I were both a bit overwhelmed. We were terribly understaffed, we were drowning in mounds of paperwork, we had management staff throwing us overboard every chance they had and we felt like our days would never end. We used to play a game every day. I called it, “Tell Me Good News”. (I’m not gonna’ lie – I stole the line from the movie Speed. Say what you will, it’s one of my favorite crappy movies EVER and I watch it every single time it’s on cable.)
Things have been going better at work for us. Our office is pretty well staffed (fingers crossed that saying that doesn’t jinx us and bring about a mass exodus Monday…), the paperwork has been filed or otherwise “handled”, and management seems to have decided we’re not total idiots or they’re too busy to notice that we’re still idiots sometimes. Since things have calmed down we haven’t played the game and I’ve realized that I rarely stop and think about things I’m grateful for or things that make me happy, or hell, things that make my day slightly less sucky.
So, I want to start playing “Tell Me Good News” again. I want to make sure that I notice at least ONE good thing each day rather than only bitching about the bad things. My hope is that some of you may want to play, too. The rules are very simple. Anyone can play and all you need to do is list one good thing that you did or saw or heard or read about today. You can ABSOLUTELY add more than one, but you need to have at least one. Any questions so far?
I’ll start:
1) I LOVE my Wii Fit! LOVE it. I never thought I’d enjoy exercising and for once, I really, really do.
2) This week, I’ve cooked fish and eaten hummus for the first time and turns out? Really good! I like them both and I’m looking forward to trying more new foods that are better for me than the crap I normally eat.
3) One more – According to Google Reader, SEVEN people read this dribble on a semi-regular basis. 7! That just makes me so happy that at least 7 people pretend to give a rat’s ass about my blatherings. Thanks, guys!
Ok, I’m looking forward to seeing your responses. Don’t leave me hanging!
Things have been going better at work for us. Our office is pretty well staffed (fingers crossed that saying that doesn’t jinx us and bring about a mass exodus Monday…), the paperwork has been filed or otherwise “handled”, and management seems to have decided we’re not total idiots or they’re too busy to notice that we’re still idiots sometimes. Since things have calmed down we haven’t played the game and I’ve realized that I rarely stop and think about things I’m grateful for or things that make me happy, or hell, things that make my day slightly less sucky.
So, I want to start playing “Tell Me Good News” again. I want to make sure that I notice at least ONE good thing each day rather than only bitching about the bad things. My hope is that some of you may want to play, too. The rules are very simple. Anyone can play and all you need to do is list one good thing that you did or saw or heard or read about today. You can ABSOLUTELY add more than one, but you need to have at least one. Any questions so far?
I’ll start:
1) I LOVE my Wii Fit! LOVE it. I never thought I’d enjoy exercising and for once, I really, really do.
2) This week, I’ve cooked fish and eaten hummus for the first time and turns out? Really good! I like them both and I’m looking forward to trying more new foods that are better for me than the crap I normally eat.
3) One more – According to Google Reader, SEVEN people read this dribble on a semi-regular basis. 7! That just makes me so happy that at least 7 people pretend to give a rat’s ass about my blatherings. Thanks, guys!
Ok, I’m looking forward to seeing your responses. Don’t leave me hanging!
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